OK, if you've got a nominee for Worst New Year's Eve Act Ever that tops the Jonas Brothers, please send it in now. Frankly, I cannot imagine a more barf-inducing musical performance in my wildest nightmares. But, uh, other than that, Happy New Year!
Tags: 2009
Hey, look at that! Kate dusted off the same Year End meme that she did last year. Funny, because I had the exact same thought myself. Seemed like a suitable set of year-in-review questions the first time around, so why not give it another go? Well, OK, I do think I'll tinker with a question or two. I don't really think "How many one-night stands?" is appropriate for this audience. At least I hope not.
Without further ado, then:
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Went on a long road trip with Tracy. Participated in an organized cycling event. Ate sashimi.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Um, I might've said something about losing weight and getting in better shape and, no, I soooo didn't do that. But hey, look at the bright side! I don't have to think of a new resolution for this year! (Note: I just left this answer in there from last year.)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousins Kristin and Kara both continued their furtherance of the population explosion by gracing us with baby girls, and their sister Kim has a new member of the family on the way. Wilde and his wife Hirono had two beautiful twin baby girls as well.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, but by all accounts my last surviving grandparent is knocking on Death's door and pretty much demanding entry.
5. What places did you visit?
Wow, let's see. New York City, of course, notably for our trip to MoMA. Then there was the Great East Coast Road Trip of 2008: Outer Banks, Myrtle Beach, St. Augustine, Key West, Tampa Bay, and Savannah. And for my birthday, Vegas, baby!
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Tough question. I don't lack for much. More money and more free time are always nice, but it's not like I'm hurting in either department. Ah, here we go: More energy. I'm tired way too much of the time.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
November 4th, 2008. Obama walking out on stage to make his victory speech. The emotions of that moment. First and foremost the overwhelming sense of relief that... we... won. Eight psychologically-punishing years had left me pretty traumatized and it wasn't until that moment that I finally started to unclench my political sphincter. And then the realization that we weren't just finally seeing the end of the Winger Era, we were in fact witnessing an incredible moment in our nation's history. We had a elected a black man president. It was, shall we say, heady.
8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Finishing the Calhoun Cancer Challenge Ride and coming in second place for fundraising on my company's team. I was pretty damned proud of that.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Hoooom. Uncomfortable question. I think I missed some personal growth opportunities at work. Let's just leave it at that.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I cut my finger slicing onions just the other night. It bled a lot.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our second parakeet, Ozzie. He is as sweet as the day is long and his even-keeled temperament makes him the perfect companion for our aptly-named Moody Fruitcake McBirdstone.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
No-drama Obama. Despite two opponents who took the low-road against him, he ran an ethical, high-minded, issues-based campaign and revealed himself to be a remarkably unflappable individual. I am so looking forward to having this man in the White House.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
- John McCain, for treating the presidency with such contempt that he was willing to put a clownish simpleton like Sarah Palin a heartbeat away from it.
- Hillary Clinton, for proving her detractors right and revealing herself to be the amoral opportunist of their apparently not-so-fevered imaginings. Sitting down with Scaife. Trying to seat Michigan and Florida. I am deeply chagrinned at how much energy I wasted over the years defending this woman.
- Harry Reid, for being a toothless, gutless punk.
- Joe Lieberman, for being Joe Lieberman.
- The douchebag who dressed up as Santa and gunned down eight of his in-laws.
- Every one of those fucking asshats who trampled that WalMart employee to death. Get your consumerism under control, you sick fucks.
- Roger Clemens, for refusing to just admit it.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Interest on our two mortgages.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our road trip and our trip to Vegas. Vacations always get me amped up.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
AC-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive by Johnny Mercer. I bought his greatest hits album after visiting Savannah and I just love this song. It's my musical Happy Pill.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder?
Happier.
b) thinner or fatter?
Exactly the same.
c) richer or poorer?
Richer. Not much richer, mind you, but plugging along. Paid off one of the cars. Kept paying down our debt consolidation loan. Built up a little savings.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Cycling. I really slacked off after the Calhoun ride. I'd like to get 1,500 to 2,000 miles in this year.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Zone out in front of the computer.
20. How did you spend Christmas this year?
We had X-Mas dinner at our house. Tracy's family came for dinner. My mom came down for a couple of days. It was fun.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Oh, sure. All over again, every single night when I see Tracy's head on her pillow and that face I so adore in a state of angelic peacefulness. She's OK when she's awake too. (Kidding!)
22. How was work?
A little stressful, but there were some positives. I seriously shook the rust off of my coding skills, for one thing. And while the project I'm lead on has hit its share of bumps, we're going to deliver, and that's what counts.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Supernatural.
24. What did you do for your birthday in 2008?
Flew out to Vegas to party for four straight nights with several of my closest and oldest friends. You know, the usual. (Thank you to my wife for putting it all together, and thanks as well to all of you who were there. You made the official onset of middle age a very agreeable experience.) Oh, and although it was a month before my birthday, my family gave me a hell of a surprise party. (Thanks, Mom.)
25. What was the best book you read?
The entire Sandman series. Could. Not. Put. Them. Down.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Not a huge year for new music in my world. The one album I acquired that really stood out was Against Me's New Wave, an Angelos referral. I liked that album immediately. Love the singer's voice. Nice, tight songwriting. Brash but melodic. Really good stuff.
27. What did you want and get?
A Nintendo Wii! Speaking of, I gotta finish this up so I can go play Need For Speed: Undercover...
28. What did you want and not get?
Replacement windows and a new driveway.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Iron Man. Can't wait to see it again.
30. Did you make some new friends this year?
Nope, not that I can think of.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Same as last year: Impeachment proceedings.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Elastic-Waistband Chic.
33. What kept you sane?
My wife. Also, ample amounts of wine and whiskey.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
If by "fancy" you mean "had a boner for" then I'll say Brooke Burke. Absolutely could not take my eyes off of her when she was on the dance floor, not even the couple of times when Julianne was out there dancing at the same time.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Hillary's primary campaign drove me to utter apoplexy for long
stretches of the Spring.
35a. What political issue stirred you the least?
The Wall Street Bailout. I'm simply not convinced it's the apocalypse so many have made it out to be.
36. Who did you miss?
I miss my old manager who got the boot over the Summer. We had a really good rapport. And breaking in a new manager is always a pain in the ass.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't recall meeting any "new" people this year. I met several online friends in the flesh for the first time. Chris & Michelline, John, Litbrit. That was fun.
38. Burn any bridges?
Not exactly, but someone burnt one with me and I was more than happy to see it turn to ashes.
39. Best new restaurant you went to?
Pisces, in Key West, for Tracy's birthday. Pricey as hell - really, bring the Stunt Wallet - but worth every penny. Extraordinary food. Honorable Mention: Plan B Tavern right here in the Shire. Hoping to go there tonight for our New Year's Eve dinner, weather permitting.
40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Sometimes it's better to just let assholish behavior slide. It's unhealthy to hold onto every personal slight with a death grip. Some people are going to be douchebags to you some of the time. That's life.
Ah, 2008. We hardly knew ye. Buh bye.
And you, reader: If you wish to be tagged, consider your wish granted.
Sun - 8:00 PM: Well, it's all over. The Jets are homeward bound, having completed a truly epic collapse. Meanwhile, Chad and his Dolphins are bound for the post-season. Good for him. The turnaround he helped engineer was truly remarkable, and it's a story that honestly couldn't happen to a nicer quarterback. As for the Patriots, Favre's final (I hope) mistake-filled turn as a Jet helped send them home as well. As you can imagine, I take no small solace in that.
Now, turning to fantasy, It'd be really nice if Eddie Royal went off for a couple of long TD catches and won me the Toasters League Superbowl...
Sun - 12:00 PM: I was going to open this post by saying how hard it was to believe that the final week of the 2008 regular season was already here, but then I actually stopped and thought about it and realized that, no, it's been a long goddamned football season. Draining, too, at least for Jets fans. First I had to adjust to rooting for a new Quarterback who I've never particularly liked while watching another who I truly admire and respect get kicked to the curb like yesterday's garbage. Then there was the frustration of the early-season struggles the team had as they tried to adjust to El Gunslinger's style of play. Then we saw the five-game winning streak where it all seemed to be coming together, capped off by a truly euphoric win over the mighty Titans. Then, finally, seemingly inevitably for a franchise that always finds a way to treat its fans to a big shit sandwich, the big slide. These last four weeks have been like watching a particularly gruesome vehicular manslaughter in slow motion. Each game has ground down the hopes of the Jets faithful. Each loss has left behind that sickeningly familiar feeling of disgust mixed with despair. And the whole long, trudging march of doom comes down to today; a day where I will go out on a limb and boldly predict that, if the Bills do manage to shock the Patriots with the upset, the Jets will crash and burn against the Dolphins, while if the much more likely outcome occurs at one o'clock and the Patriots cruise to a win, the Jets will somehow find a way to rouse themselves and defeat the Dolphins, putting the perfect middle-finger exclamation point on this terrible, un-returnable, un-exchangeable gift they've given us.
Bank on it.
Eric Mangini's doughy face was on the cover of the Courant sports page today, a thing which is remarkable in its own right because the Courant practically always buries their Jets coverage somewhere behind the High School lacrosse results, favoring instead the Patriots and Giants. Of course, Mangini is the Hartford boy done good who has now done oh-so-bad, so there's a local angle for the paper to pursue as Mangina's job status may well hinge on what transpires at the Meadowlands today. "Mangenius" seems so long ago now. The superhero has morphed into a mediocrity, making one bone-headed decision after another down the stretch, overseeing an offense that's become comically tepid and tentative despite the supposed abilities of their legendary (cough-bullshit-cough) QB and abetting the criminal underuse of game-breaking RB Leon Washington. The only reason I'm still on the fence about Mangini's future instead of issuing full-throated calls for his dismissal is that, after suffering through the Herm Edwards years, I know things can be a lot worse.
And what of number Four? That's a lot simpler: Play out whatever's left of this season (likely just today's game) and then please, please go the fuck back to Mississippi so that this franchise can begin the long and arduous task of trying, once again, to pull its collective head out of its ass and get a plan together for the future.
As fate would, of course, have it, Baltimore plays Jacksonville at 4:15 PM today so instead of having a clean-cut rooting situation to look forward to in the late games, I'll get to enjoy either the soul-deadening tension of rooting for Jets if the Jags have a shot at the upset or silently crying into my beer and wishing Chad Pennington the satisfaction every Jet fans knows, in their heart of hearts, he so richly deserves.
What fun! What drama! What a kick in the nuts!
Oh well, at least I've got one thing to look forward to today where there's some sliver of a chance of a good outcome: I'm in the Superbowl facing off against Angelos. And, quite amazingly, I'm favored by 17 points. I thought, briefly, about benching Favre and throwing a scrub out there in Mr. One Touchdown in the Last Four Games' place, but then I reconsidered the matter and decided to give the Slinger of Guns one last shot to partially redeem himself by helping me win a championship. (Yeah. I know. Good luck with that.)
So that's my gloomy take on the day. On to our week 17 lineup: At 1:00 PM it's Patriots at Bills on CBS and Giants at Vikings on FOX. At 4:00 PM we get Dolphins at Jets on CBS and Cowboys at Eagles on FOX. Finally, everything wraps up tonight with Broncos at Chargers.
Enjoy the games, everyone. Somebody has to.
Tags: NFL
Tracy and I are headed down to New Haven for the day to visit some friends of hers, but I didn't want to short change those of you who might be watching the "Meineke Car Care" Bowl or the "Champs Sports" Bowl. (God, I hate naming rights.) Looks like there's no NFL tonight or Monday night, so tomorrow should be fun with all sixteen teams going. Oh, wait, I'm a Jets fan. I've been shut off by the bartender's at this season's Fun Bar. (sigh) Anyhow, back later. Enjoy your post-X-Mas wind-down Saturday.
Tags: football
It was one year ago today, on a cold and windy night, that Tracy and I drove over to PetCo in Avon so I could pick out my first bird. It took me only a few minutes of watching the fifty or so budgerigars bustling about in their glass enclosure to choose Moody Fruitcake McBirdstone to come home with us and join our family. There was just something about her. In the ensuing months, my little green bundle of unpredictable zaniness has brought me much joy. Sometimes petulant, sometimes playful, usually bursting with birdie energy, she is a truly fascinating little creature. The addition of Ozzie, her sweet-natured cage mate (and hopefully future mate mate) back in August created a pleasing mirror image of our home's two human occupants (the gender-reversed parallels are actually quite striking) and made our foursome complete. Happy anniversary, little Birdstone. May you be with us for many, many more.
Tags: parakeets
So I just finished smacking my mother around in Wii Play, which is sort of an introductory group of eight very simple games designed to acclimate you to all the different ways you can use the Wii controls. Despite the rudimentary nature of the games, they're still pretty damned fun to play. I can see this thing being hugely addictive. I'm going downstairs now to work on my golf game in Wii Sports.
While I'm doing that, a question for the experienced Wii-sters out there: What games and/or accessories do you recommend? I thought about picking a few things up at Best Buy today (had to get a nunchuck for our second controller) and then decided to back off and get feedback from people who had been using this console for a while instead. I'd like a really good driving game, for starters. I feel like I'm morally obligated to get Guitar Hero, even though Tracy didn't like it that much when we played at Fridge's that one time. What else is out there that's really kick-ass for the Wii? Anyone try Wii Fit yet?
Tags: Wii
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for for that most hallowed TwoGlasses holiday tradition: Blogging the Haul. It was a banner year in the Toast household, with more on the way. Here's what we have so far:
To Toast | To Tracy |
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More to come. Share your haul in comments!
Tags: X-Mas
Last thirteen from the Holiday files:
Navan - "The First Noel" (A Christmas Celtic Sojourn)
Some beautiful vocal harmonies in this version.Ranlom - "Little Drummer Boy" (Going On Holiday)
Heard these guys on Play X-Mas UK and their quirky/jazzy take on this song grew on me. Tracy can't stand them.Stacie Orrico - "Christmas Wish" (Now That's What I Call Christmas! Vol. 3)
Now that's what I call some horrible Christmas R&B crap.Frank Sinatra - "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" (Now That's What I Call Christmas! Vol. 1)
Awwwwwww.... (sigh)Various Artists & Kenny Rogers - "Christmas Is My Favorite Time of The Year" (Now That's What I Call Christmas! Vol. 3)
Hmmmmmm. I'm noticing a sight difference in quality between Vol 1 and Vol 3 of this collection.Twisted Sister - "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" (A Twisted Christmas)
A repurposed version of We're Not Gonna Take It. But it works.Burl Ives - "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" (Now That's What I Call Christmas! Vol. 3)
I don't like the way Ives adds "a-" -- a-comin', a-tellin', a-checkin', a-etc. -- to half the words in the songs.Ella Fitzgerald - "Sleigh Ride" (Now That's What I Call Christmas! Vol. 1)
And I really don't like how Ella says "Giddy-YAP" instead of "Giddy-YUP".Run-D.M.C. - "Christmas in Hollis" (A Very Special Christmas, Vol. 1)
An ill reindeer!Frosty The Snowman - "Gene Autry" (Now That's What I Call Christmas! Vol. 3)
It's very cute until you realize it's about paganism and witchcraft. Then it's awesome.Paul McCartney - "Wonderful Christmastime" (Back To The Egg)
Tracy's favorite X-Mas song.Karan Casey & Navan - "Oh Holy Night" (A Christmas Celtic Sojourn)
Lovely.The Waitresses - "Christmas Wrapping" (The Millenium Collection: Seasons Greetings)
Catchy. This song has aged well. Of course, I'm a Way Back Weekend junkie too.
Tags: X-Mas music
This meme has been making the rounds (see Nat, Fridge, Chris, John) so I figure it's my bloggerly duty to contribute. I axed the groupings, which for the most part had little rhyme or reason, and subtotals and stuffed it in a table so it wouldn't take up so much space. View->Source and copy if you want to save yourself the formatting time. OK, here we go:
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(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show (x) Grease (x) Pirates of the Caribbean ( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest ( ) Boondock Saints (x) Fight Club ( ) Starsky and Hutch ( ) Neverending Story (x) Blazing Saddles ( ) Universal Soldier ( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events ( ) Along Came Polly ( ) Joe Dirt (x) King Kong ( ) A Cinderella Story ( ) The Terminal ( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie ( ) Passport to Paris ( ) Dumb & Dumber ( ) Dumber & Dumberer (x) Final Destination ( ) Final Destination 2 ( ) Final Destination 3 (x) Halloween (x) The Ring ( ) The Ring 2 ( ) Surviving Christmas ( ) Flubber (orignal only) ( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle ( ) Practical Magic ( ) Chicago ( ) Ghost Ship ( ) From Hell (x) Hellboy (x) Secret Window ( ) I Am Sam ( ) The Whole Nine Yards ( ) The Whole Ten Yards (x) The Day After Tomorrow ( ) Child's Play ( ) Seed of Chucky ( ) Bride of Chucky ( ) Ten Things I Hate About You ( ) Just Married ( ) Gothika (x) Nightmare on Elm Street (x) Sixteen Candles (x) Remember the Titans ( ) Coach Carter ( ) The Grudge ( ) The Grudge 2 (x) The Mask ( ) ( ) Bad Boys ( ) Bad Boys 2 ( ) Joy Ride ( ) Lucky Number Sleven (x) Ocean's Eleven (x) Ocean's Twelve (x) Bourne Identity (x) Bourne Supremacy ( ) Lone Star ( ) Bedazzled (original only) (x) Predator I (x) Predator II (x) The Fog ( ) Ice Age ( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown ( ) Curious George (x) Independence Day (x) Cujo |
( ) A Bronx Tale ( ) Darkness Falls (x) Christine (x) ET ( ) Children of the Corn ( ) My Bosses Daughter ( ) Maid in Manhattan (x) War of the Worlds (x) Rush Hour ( ) Rush Hour 2 ( ) Best Bet ( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days ( ) She's All That ( ) Calendar Girls (x) Sideways ( ) Mars Attacks (x) Event Horizon ( ) Ever After (x) Wizard of Oz (x) Forrest Gump (x) Big Trouble in Little China (x) The Terminator (x) The Terminator 2 (x) The Terminator 3 (x) X-Men (x) X2 (x) X-3 (x) Spider-Man (x) Spider-Man 2 ( ) Sky High ( ) Jeepers Creepers ( ) Jeepers Creepers 2 ( ) Catch Me If You Can ( ) The Little Mermaid (x) Freaky Friday (original only) (x) Reign of Fire ( ) The Skulls (x) Cruel Intentions ( ) Cruel Intentions 2 ( ) The Hot Chick (x) Shrek ( ) Shrek 2 ( ) Swimfan ( ) Miracle on 34th street ( ) Old School ( ) The Notebook ( ) K-Pax ( ) Kippendorf's Tribe ( ) A Walk to Remember ( ) Ice Castles ( ) Boogeyman (x) The 40-year-old-virgin (x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring (x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers (x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King (x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ( ) Baseketball ( ) Hostel ( ) Waiting for Guffman ( ) House of 1000 Corpses ( ) Devils Rejects ( ) Elf (x) Highlander (x) Mothman Prophecies (x) American History X ( ) Three ( ) The Jacket (X) Kung Fu Hustle ( ) Shaolin Soccer |
( ) Night Watch ( ) Monsters Inc. ( ) Titanic (x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail (x) Shaun Of the Dead ( ) Willard ( ) High Tension ( ) Club Dread (x) Hulk (x) Dawn of the Dead ( ) ( ) Chronicle Of Narnia ( ) 28 days later ( ) Orgazmo (x) Phantasm ( ) Waterworld (x) Kill Bill vol 1 (x) Kill Bill vol 2 ( ) Mortal Kombat ( ) Wolf Creek ( ) Kingdom of Heaven ( ) the Hills Have Eyes ( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman ( ) The Last House on the Left (x) Re-Animator (x) Army of Darkness (x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace ( ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones ( ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith (x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope (x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back (x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi ( ) ( ) (x) The Matrix (x) The Matrix Reloaded (x) The Matrix Revolutions ( ) Animatrix (x) Evil Dead (x) Evil Dead 2 (x) Team America: World Police (x) Red Dragon (x) Silence of the Lambs (x) Hannibal ( ) Battle Royale ( ) Battle Royale 2 (x) Brazil (x) Contact (x) Cube (x) Dr. Strangelove ( ) Enlightenment Guaranteed ( ) Four Rooms (x) Memento ( ) Pi ( ) Requiem for a Dream (x) Pulp Fiction (x) Reservoir Dogs ( ) Run Lola Run ( ) Russian Ark (x) Serenity (x) Sin City (x) Snatch ( ) Spider (x) The Sixth Sense ( ) The Village ( ) Waking Life ( ) Zatoichi ( ) Ikiru ( ) The Seven Samurai ( ) Brick ( ) Akira |
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And my Grand Total is... (drumroll)...Ninety!
That puts me in the middle of our contestants so far, although I'm closer to the anemic end of the spectrum -- Nat with 71 and Chris with 79 -- then I am to John's impressive 117 or Fridge's completely insane 136. (Out of a possible 213, btw.)
Update: Just to make it a little more interesting, I went through and bolded the movies from the list that I hadn't seen but want to see. Surprisingly, out of 123 misses, there were only a half dozen I'm interested in checking out. All the rest are in the "would watch if there was nothing better on and I was stranded in a hotel room with no internet connection" category. In addition, there were four that I crossed off that I put in the "Wouldn't watch on a $50 bet" category. (There were two Ewok movies made? Seriously? No, I mean, seriously?)
Tags: movies
Erik Kuselias, filling in for Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio this morning, just referred to Hootie and the Blowfish as "one of the iconic bands in American pop music history." He did not seem to be kidding. Am I the only one who thinks that's a bit over the top for a group that rose to prominence just long enough for me to coin the term "Rock Bland" and then faded into obscurity? I mean, I realize Kuselias is friends with Darius Rucker, but come on.
Tags: Hootie and the Blowfish
While the baseball world was waiting to see if Mark Teixeira would stay with the Angels, sign with the Red Sox, or slum with the Nationals, Brian Cashman -- general manager and ninja assassin -- snuck in the back door, distracted onlookers with a puff of smoke about the Yankees disinterest, then gagged the first baseman with Hal Steinbrenner's wallet and padded away with him back to the Bronx. Proving, once again, that it's good to be the Yankees.
And now, let the crying commence.
Tags: Yankees
Tags: Brett Favre, New York Jets
11:07 PM: I love DeAngelo Williams.
6:30 PM: At this point, I'm not sure I should even care if the Jets win. They're playing the worst football of any team in the league at this point in the season. In fact, this is the worst four-game stretch I've witnessed since Rick Mirer was running the show for us. Even if they somehow miraculously pull this game out (doubtful) and beat Miami next week (even more doubtful) they'll just be eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. They can't perform against the dregs of the league. Why should anyone think they'll be able to handle the Colts, Steelers, or Titans? No, at this point it's hard to give a fuck. Of course, looking ahead, I can't help but see how this is setting up for a truly epic Worst Case Scenario: Jets lose today, then they somehow beat the Dolphins next week, sending the Patriots to the playoffs as AFC East champions. I think I'd rather snack on broken glass than see that happen.
12:30 PM: Huge day of football kicking off in just half an hour. The Patriots and Dolphins are both playing at 1:00 PM, so when the Jets tee it up in Seattle later this afternoon they'll either desperately be trying to keep pace with those two teams or maybe, just maybe, if both lose, they could be playing to clinch the division. Either way, the implications for the Jets' season are enormous.
Meanwhile, I've got my work fantasy team in the Superbowl but down 35 points thanks to Peyton Manning's brilliant Thursday night performance. I've got the horses to come back, but a lot of things need to break my way. Favre faces an awful Seattle pass D, but he's going to be doing it in shitty conditions. Larry Fitzgerald will be trying to haul in catches in cold, snowy, windy Foxborough. Forte is supposed to play tomorrow night despite his nagging toe injury. Tomlinson sucks this year so I can't rely on him. My best bet is for DeAngelo Williams to go off against the Giants tonight, and the way he's been playing I can see it happening. I'm also facing Furious in the semifinals of the TwoGlasses league, but that's a secondary concern at the moment. Hell, the fact that I made the playoffs in that league and advanced out of the wildcard round still feels like I found an unused scratch ticket lying on the sidewalk. If I win, hey, cool! If not... (shrug).
Anyhow, there you go. Welcome to Week 16 on the Couch™. Probably be a quiet one today with Angelos and Chemist both at 35,000 feet and the Howards no doubt nursing their wounds from last night's Cowboy loss.
Our lineup for today: At 1:00 PM on FOX, we have Cardinals at Patriots. At 4:00 PM on FOX it's Eagles at Redskins, but of course I'll be one channel up on CBS watching the Jets playing for their lives against the Seahawks. Sunday Night Football offers a doozy of a matchup as the Giants face off against the Panthers in a battle for home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. Tomorrow night's Packers at Bears matchup promises to be somewhat less scintillating, but I may end up staying up for it anyhow if my fantasy game comes down to Forte's performance.
As always, enjoy the games.
Tags: NFL
Throwing this out there early for tonight's NFL game (and any college action that's going on) since Tracy and I will likely be driving back from the annual Toast family X-Mas party up in Boston when the Ravens kick it off against the Cowboys. Cheers!
Tags: NFL
After 40 years of living in the Northeast, I'm happy to report that there is still something magical about the first snowstorm of the year. Thought I'd share a few pics of the snowscape that greeted us this morning.
Tags: snow in the Shire
We've got our first major snowstorm of the year barreling down on us up here in the northeast, and I am -- or was -- giddy about it. In anticipation of about a foot of fluffy white stuff, I went out to the shed to get the snowblower and make sure it was ready to rock. Engaged the choke, set the throttle off, primed the pump a few times, pulled the cord... and a puff of grass blew out of the engine housing. Tried again, figuring maybe proximity to the mower had maybe...? Nope, another big puff of grass. On further inspection, I see packed grass sticking out from all around the rear housing of the flywheel or whatever it's called that you start it with.
I'm standing there in the garage thinking No. Fucking. Way.
Grabbed some tools and spent 15 minutes taking apart a bunch of shit so I could remove the housing. Sure enough, packed tight with grass and other detritus. The insulation on the sparkplug wire was totally chewed through and a smaller wire had been severed. I'm assuming it was mice because there's not much else that's small enough to get in there. This, by the way, is a week after the humidifier installation guys found a mouse nest inside the outer housing of our heater, and a month after we had to clean and sanitize all of our utensils and plug up some holes behind the cabinetry because mice had gotten in and shat all over everything. Safe to say I'm really starting to hate those little fuckers. They officially left cute behind about half an hour ago when they ruined my lunch hour and possibly the better part of the afternoon.
Now I've got to see if I can repair those two wires, get everything back together, and pray to FSM the thing works when I'm done.
Update: As we say in Mob Wars, Ottimo! Had to run back out and get a replacement tube for the primer bubble after fixing the two wires, but we're back in business now.
Tags: varmints, snowblowers, untimely inconveniences
A few interesting notes from around the world of sports:
Hey, this Brandon Roy kid might turn out to be pretty good. Roy scored 52 points at the Rose Garden last night, almost single-handedly lifting the Blazers to their first win over the Phoenix Suns in a dozen tries. Championship 2010, baby. At the latest.
The Red Sox are reportedly backing out of the Teixeira market, a development which will leave poor Peter Gammons with a stupendous case of blue balls. Of course, I'll only truly believe the Sox are out when the much-sought-after first-baseman's signature is on a contract for another team.
Breaking: In a shocking turn of events, the New York Jets were discovered early this morning to be holding a secret cache containing millions of naked pictures of Pro-Bowl voters in embarrassing positions. Of the whopping seven starters the Jets are sending, the most questionable by far is one Mr. Brett Favre, who is right now the third-best quarterback in the AFC East.
The undefeated and #2-ranked UConn Huskies face their first tough game of the season on Saturday as they take it on the road to face the #8-ranked Gonzaga Bulldogs. And I, of course, will be up in Boston at my family's annual X-Mas open house. Please let this be a nationally-televised game. Please.
(OK, around my world of sports is more accurate.)
Tags: Brandon Roy is awesome, Red Sox suck, Jets over-represented in Pro Bowl, Huskies face Gonzaga Saturday
In the comments about yesterday's post on Rick Warren, maurinsky, taking the let's-everybody-chill-now position here, adds that "FWIW, I'm arguing the opposite viewpoint on another site I visit." This made me chuckle because I can totally see how one could find themselves arguing both sides of this depending on the mood of the room. Seeing both sides of an issue being, of course, one of the things I'm so well known for.
Something tells me that the reaction among liberals to Warren getting the inaugural gig presages an argument we're going to see over and over, in many and varied forms, throughout Obama's time in the White House. For the last eight years -- well, most of eight years; it took a while for some people to come around -- both hard-core liberals and more moderate pragmatists on our side have been united in their anger at Bush. But with a month in the Still President's last term left to go, Obama's election is already creating fissures between the former, who are suffering from Outrage Addiction, and the latter, who have a bad case of Outrage Fatigue.
For my part, I'm going to do my best to walk the middle path here. It would be foolish to think that just because "our guy" won the election we can heave a huge sigh of relief and let down our guard entirely. Obama's selection of Warren to speak on January 20th is the first time he's disappointed me, but it won't be the last. He needs to be called on his shit when he makes stupid moves like that. On the other hand, it's ridiculous and counter-productive to sit at the computer all day just waiting for him to fuck up so we can screech with outrage about how Obama's betraying progressives, proving that he's just another politician or other such nonsense. We shouldn't let these eight long, disastrous years of Bush so distort our perspective that any misstep by Obama becomes cause for going end-of-the-world apeshit.
Just sayin'.
Tags: Rick Warren, Barack Obama, liberals
Rick Warren? Seriously? That's the best he could come up with to deliver the inaugural invocation? I mean, frankly, I don't think there should be an "inaugural invocation", but if we must have one, couldn't it be given by someone who's not basically a softer, more pleasant and reasonable-sounding version of James Dobson?
Oh well. Obama had to lose his Stupid Political Move cherry at some point. Better this than an important cabinet or staffing choice.
Update: Oops. It appears I may have been too quick to fault the president-elect:
[T]he decision to get involved with Saddleback was actually not Obama's. The Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, run by the House and Senate, put together the program for the swearing-in ceremony. Congress, not Obama, invited Warren..."
Now, I'm hard-pressed to believe Obama couldn't have leaned on the committee to change this pick. It's his party, after all. Still, the fact that he didn't go to them and say "Yeah, let's get that theocrat who talked shit about me during the election" is at least something of a relief. (h/t: Chemist)
Tags: Barack Obama, Rick Warren
5:30 PM: I have never felt less pleased after a win than I do today. That was a disgraceful performance by the Jets. It took the truly heroic suckitude of J. P. Losman for them to escape with that unearned victory. The most alarming development was the collapse of the run defense, which gave up almost 200 yards to a Bills team that hadn't been able to move the ball for weeks. Unless someone brings back the team that beat the Patriots and Titans and sends these impostors packing, I see zero chance of them beating the Seahawks next weekend. And meanwhile, the Dolphins won again and the Pats are taking care of business. Not happy times for Jets fans. Every fiber of my football fan being is telling me that this stay of execution will be brief indeed.
3:45 PM: Losman fumbles! Touchdown! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets! OK, maybe that will wake this team up? That was a near death experience. The Jets lose this game, the season is over
2:14 PM: Touchdown! Leon Washington! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
1:28 PM: Touchdown! Favre to Cotchery! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
1:08 PM: Touchdown! Thomas Jones! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
12:00 PM: Big day of football on tap. The J-E-T-S host the lowly B-I-L-L-S in a must W-I-N game. If the Jets cough this one up, kiss the season goodbye. If they show up and run over Buffalo like they should, on the other hand, it might go a ways towards washing away the horrible taste of last week's loss to San Francisco. The Bills have completely fallen apart and they've got J. P. Loseman calling the shots this afternoon. Time to stop fucking around and start kicking ass again.
In fantasy news, Fridge and I are knotted up at 6 points each in my work league. Forte came back and scored a TD in Thursday's game, but his output fell far short of what I needed from him. Neither of us have anyone going in Monday Night Football, so when I wake up tomorrow I'll know whether I'm moving on to the Superbowl or heading for the consolation game. In our ESPN league, it's time for me to Attaq le Maq. Clinton Portis is finally all the way off of the injury report, and between him and DeAngelo Williams I'm feeling like I should be the favorite in this one. Of course, merely typing that probably dooms me.
Our television lineup today: At 1:00 PM on CBS it's Bills at Jets. Across the dial on FOX we have Niners at Dolphins. Later this afternoon CBS has Patriots at Raiders. Tonight, it's Giants at Cowboys. (Full disclosure: We'll be watching the season finale of Survivor.)
Tags: NFL
Tracy received this twenty-dollar bill from an ATM this morning and happily presented it to me when she got home.
If anyone's looking to get me a Secret Santa gift, I sure would love that stamp.
Tags: atheist snark
Hollywoodland: If George Reeves hadn't killed himself, having to sit through this movie would have made him want to.
Tags: Hollywoodland
Lazy Saturday evening here in the Shire. Just got back from running half a dozen errands and now we're just kicking it. So why not do a little beer blogging? First up, you remember that New Yorker article on Dogfish Head Brewing that I had you read a few weeks ago? (You read it, right? Better have.) The piece started out telling the story about the dude who contacted DH owner Sam Calagione after finding this really cool, ultra-hard, aromatic wood down in South America that he thought would be interesting for aging beer in? Yeah, well I got me some. Let's have a sip or twenty of Palo Santo Marron malt beverage.
The Pour: Whoa. This beer has a humongous bouquet. A big, fat whiff of what smells like fig or apricot almost knocked me over as I poured this into my Stella goblet. A half-inch head of dark tan foam developed and held on for a couple of minutes before dissolving to film atop an opaque body that's dark brown bordering on black. Impossible to tell what's going on inside this beer, but from the top it appears carbonation is scant.
The Taste: Palo Santo feels like a Belgian Abbey-style Ale. The silky texture and slightly weighty mouth feel; the sweet, fruity, almost wine-like intensity; the relative lack of carbonation. I don't know if that's what they were going for -- "malt beverage" is a pretty vague descriptor -- but that's where they landed. I was spot on with the fig in the aroma, but there are other fruits in that vein woven in as well. Most notably, I'm picking up strong hints of prune, which makes this a Warrior's drink indeed. Tracy pointed out a licorice note which I didn't pick up on immediately but won't go away after you notice it. This is nice, actually, as there's little else on the bitter side of the spectrum to balance out Palo's sweetness. There is a big alcohol edge underlying everything else this beer has going on. It's up front, in the middle, and all the way down in the long, penetrating aftertaste. ABV is advertised as 12% and they are not trying to hide it.
The Verdict: This is a powerful sipping beer. Very intense. As Port is to wine, this is to ale. It's not for everyone, but if you like Abbey styles or like to live on the wild side generally with your beer, Palo Santo is worth every bit of the hefty price tag ($13.95 for a four pack).
Next up, we've got an Oatmeal Stout from Maine's Belfast Bay Brewing. These guys are new to me. I was in the mood for something heavy, saw that they'd won a silver medal at the World Beer Championships for this brew, and decided to give them a look.
The Pour: Pouring this head into a pint glass, it develops about an inch of beer at the bottom which slowly - slowly - grows into something I may be able to drink later in the evening. Seriously, the head on this beer is a sight to behold. From the top it's smooth like tan shaving cream, but I see a whole bunch of coarse bubbles through the glass. I'm pouring the rest of the beer in now and the foamy head is rising above the top of the glass like a yummy mountain range. Oh, um, yeah: The body is black as pitch. The primary note in the aroma is dark chocolate. OK, cover me, I'm going in...
The Taste: As you'd expect from this style, we've got a very chewy beer here. Or, since this offering is from Maine, "beah heah". The malts predominate, yielding a flavor profile that's mostly sweet and candy-like but also has an odd sour note in the background. Can't put my finger on it, exactly, but I'd go with "over-ripe fruit" to describe it. Funky. I'm getting a faint but agreeable hop note at the end of each sip which pushes back against the sour malt note, although not enough to truly smooth things out. The body is satisfactory, if a tad watery around the edges. The aftertaste is dry and sort of ashy.
The Verdict: This is not a bad beer by any stretch, but a "silver medal" winner? In the stout category, one assumes? I think not. A little off balance in taste and the body is too rough around the edges. This beer gets a participation trophy, and that's about it.
Tags: Dogfish Head, Belfast Bay
Maybe it's the hangover talking - for some reason my funny threshold is significantly lowered while in a hungover state - but Simmons' latest column on the 50 Worst NFL-Related Gifts absolutely destroyed me. The intro was especially outstanding:
When Neil O'Donnell was dragging down the Jets in the mid-'90s, my buddy Geoff and I were roommates in Boston. We had spent two solid seasons imitating O'Donnell's thick New York accent from the news conference after he signed with them ("I was brought here to win games. I'm a winn-ah") every time he screwed up for them. It just never got old.
For Christmas in '97, Geoff gave me an autographed O'Donnell football he won in a charity auction. This was an authentic NFL football, exactly like the one they used during games, only Geoff landed it for $50. In other words, O'Donnell's signature had devalued the football by almost half. This brought us endless amounts of joy. We went outside and played catch in a parking lot, with no regard for the wear and tear on O'Donnell's signature. If anything, we were intentionally trying to scuff the ball up to make it go away. Now that, my friends, is a great NFL-related Christmas gift.
Hey! Neil O'Donnell was a top-5 NFL quarterback when he played for the Jets! (Sorry. Inside joke that only Fridge will get.)
Tags: Bill Simmons
Fuckin' Kona. Taunting me about not posting often enough for his happiness. Kona, I love you, man, but I'm not yer fuckin' monkey. Maybe if you joined my FUCKING MOB I'd be more inclined to entertain you. Still, fine, well and good, let's have ourselves a post.
It's Friday night and I'm listening to Pink Floyd's "Fearless" from Meddle, which is one of the greatest songs evuh. Tracy is in bed and out like a light. Her branch had their X-Mas party tonight, and someone enjoyed themselves perhaps a bit too much. (Hint: Not the one posting this.)
(Redacted)
Other than that, my December is going ahhh-aighhht. Got a new mantel up. Had a whole-home humidifier installed. You know, things be OK and all that.
And I'm sitting here, listening to some Floyd, a comatose wife in the other room, two small birds wondering what all this late-night crap is about eyeing me warily, and yeah, there you go. What are you doing, Kona? Oh, and the rest of you too...
Tags: stuff
Saints! Bears! Thursday Night Football! Are you ready? I damn sure am ready to see Matt Forte run wild on the Saints defense. Mr. Strong Point is going to get the ball rolling in my Ballbreakers' semi-final matchup against Fridge's hopelessly overmatched Juggies on Trampolines. (You're starting Isaac Bruce? That's so precious.) Yeeeaaaaaaahhhh, Buoy! It's GO time.
Tags: NFL
Three observations and a question from Busyland:
Dear Media: The FBI has audio tape of Rod Blagojevich cussing a blue streak because Barack Obama wouldn't play ball and give him anything in exchange for considerations regarding the appointment to his Senate seat. If, knowing this, you are still peddling stories innocently inquiring as to whether Obama is "tainted" by Blagojevich's actions, then you suck at journalism. Or you work for FOX. (Obviously those two aren't mutually exclusive.)
The phrase "epic fail" has now crossed the Drum Threshold. Given that level of ubiquity, I have to ask: Where did this originate? And why no "-ure"?
I know NPR is just doing this to make me nuts, and I hate giving them the satisfaction of a complaint, but for fuck's sake it's pronounced "IN-flu-ence", not "in-FLU-ence".
Rod Blagojevich has a comically high head-to-face ratio.
Thank you. That is all.
Tags: epic fail, Rod Blagojevich, head-to-face ratio, NPR pronunciations
I used to be a bit of an aerospace geek. In high school, I owned a well-thumbed copy of The Encyclopedia of World Air Power and several editions of Jane's All The World's Aircraft. Hell, I went to see Top Gun nine times in the theater. So take the following with a grain of salt.
Kill the F-22 Raptor? Fuck no.
Let me tell you something else about my youth. I used to spend a lot of time in grade school and middle school building model airplanes. I had all of America's top-tier fighter aircraft proudly displayed on shelves in my room. The Navy's F-14 Tomcat and F-18 Hornet. The Air Force's F-15 Eagle and F-16 Falcon. Beautiful aircraft. State of the art at the time. Thing is, it's thirty years later and last time I checked we're still relying heavily on all four of these bad boys. The F-117 Nighthawk, which is technologically awesome but of limited usefulness, and the F-22 are the only notable additions to our fleet that come to mind in the fighter department in all those years. The latter represents over two decades of R&D investment and projects to be our primary air superiority platform for a long time to come.
Kill that?
No thanks. Kill every penny of funding for missile defense. Stop building submarines and battlecruisers, for chrissakes. The Pentagon probably has dozens more programs far worthier of finding themselves on the chopping block. Kill our best fighter jet? That's stupid. Say what you will about the evolving nature of the threats that face us, you're always going to want to control the sky with impunity.
Tags: fighter aircraft, military priorities
Round-trip flight to Oakland: $300
New Ace for your rotation: $160,000,000
Tweaking your rival for having become what they once despised: Priceless
(Oh, and congrats to C-Money on a job well done.)
Tags: baseball
Going to Bed: With under 10 minutes left in the second quarter, Carolina leads Tampa Bay 3-0 in Monday Night Football. I am ahead in the final regular-season game in my frat league by a comfortable 17 points. My opponent has Antonio Bryant, a third-string fantasy WR in all but the deepest of leagues, going for him. My victory is assured. Meanwhile, in my work league, I'm trailing by 30 points. My opponent has Warrick Dunn and kicker Matt Bryant going for Tampa Bay, and I have the mighty DeAngelo Williams. Despite Williams heroics the last few weeks, the deficit seems insurmountable. A first-round playoff exit for my worthy squad is inevitable.
Sleeping: A total of 58 points are scored in MNF after we turn off the television. Antonio Bryant registers 9 catches for 200 yards and two receiving TD's, one a 50-yarder, netting him 23 fantasy points, one shy of doubling his previous best week. Meanwhile, DeAngelo Williams rushes for 186 yards, including three 20+ yard runs, and 2 rushing TD's, for a total of 37 fantasy points. Dunn does nothing, and Matt Bryant does even less, missing a FG and an XP to net a grand total of one fantasy point.
Waking Up: I see an email in my inbox from my frat league opponent gloating over his... no, it can't be... win? You have got to be shitting me. That was a sure thing!!! God, I HATE fantasy football! I'm out of the running in all four leagues?! This game sucks! What a friggin' joke. Antonio Bryant?! He'll never have another game like that in his life! This is bullshit! Fuck me. Fuck me. (Out of idle curiosity, shuffles over to check results in work league.) No way. No... way. 37 points for Williams? No. Ohmygod, [my opponent] must be losing his mind. That's impossible. Ha ha. HAHAHAHA! Woo HOO!!! I'm still in it, baby! Superbowl bound! (In other news, I barely edge into our ESPN league playoffs on the head-to-head tiebreaker, and barely miss making the Helmets & Shouldamapads playoffs, ending up in a three-way tie for the division lead but not even coming away with a wildcard spot due to the second tiebreaker.)
Tags: NFL, fantasy football
Tags: X-Mas tree
7:00 PM: The Jets are seconds away from losing to the 4-8 San Francisco 49'ers. I can't put into words how totally unacceptable that is. The entire fucking lot of them, players and coaches alike, should be forced to hitchhike back to New Jersey. And no, if driving by, I wouldn't offer any of them a ride. Fucking jackasses.
12:30 PM: Fantasy Update:
Ballbreakers (9-4) (Work league): The playoffs are underway, and I'm facing off in a wildcard matchup against the Red Bull Rehabbers. Tomlinson staked me to a 13-point lead with a surprisingly decent performance Thursday night and the Guru gave me a four-point edge going in, but the standings breakdown shows me going a mere 7-6 against this team over the course of the season. It'd be a crying shame if this squad, which finished with the second-best record in the league, got booted in the first round.
Guns For Hire (7-6) (Frat league): Trailing the division leader by one game after a dreadful two-week slide. I need a win and I need him to lose to get into the playoffs. We split head to head and I've got a comfortable lead on points for. As for this week's game, I'm showing orange flags for Forte, Slaton, Berrian and Tony Gonzalez. On top of that, I've got Warner and Boldin (supposed to play) going against a very suspect Rams pass defense. I'm cautiously optimistic about the W.
Meanstreak (7-6) (Helmets league): In a three-way tie for the division lead. If that resolves itself in my favor, I'm in the playoffs. If not, I think I've got an outside shot at the wildcard, but I'd need a lot of games to break my way. The Guru gives my opponent a 27-point edge, 12 of which are due to the giant projected advantage they give Brees over Favre. We'll see. Scoring fluctuates a lot in this system, so maybe I'll get lucky.
Problem Child (6-7) (TwoGlasses league): In a normal playoff system I wouldn't even be in contention, but since we're doing two teams from each division my crappy team could slide into the postseason. Except that I'm closing out against Authoriteh. So, um, see you next year?
11:00 AM: The 2008 season is officially headed down the home stretch. Four games left to sort out the playoff picture. Four more chances to distinguish the contenders from the pretenders. That's it. Damn, does football fly by or what?
My Jets are out on the Left Coast today, looking to put a dispiriting loss to Denver behind them and hold onto first place in the AFC East. The optimist in me would like to believe that the 8-4 team from New York will go out there and smack around the 4-8 team from San Francisco, but being a Jets fan, my inner optimist is always a minority voter. With our luck, the 'Niners will pick off Brett six times and steal a victory for their new coach. (There is no attempt to slide a reverse karmic whammy past the football Gods here. None at all. Move along.)
Today's lineup: At 1:00 PM on FOX, the Giants host the Eagles. Should be a fun one. I hope the G-Men smack the crap out of Philly. At 4:15 PM, FOX is giving us Cowboys at Steelers (Go Cowboys!) while CBS is fucking me up the ass and possibly sending me trudging out to a bar (game-time decision - depends on my mood and energy level) by broadcasting Patriots at Seabags instead of Jets at 'Niners. (Three straight weeks? Seriously? Somewhere out there is a schedule-maker who needs a punch in the mouth.) Tonight's game is Redskins at Ravens, which is a little "meh", and for Monday Night Football we've got Buccaneers at Panthers, which only sounds boring until you look and realize that both teams are 9-3.
Enjoy the games, people.
Tags: NFL
From my wife, who hasn't even tagged me yet but promises she's going to. (via Kona.)
Five names you go by:
Toast
Hon
Joe
Joey
AckAckAckAckAckAckAckAckAckAck!
Three things you are wearing right now:
Blue Heaven t-shirt
Track pants
Incredibly smelly slippers
Two things you want very badly at the moment:
A week off from work
Three more mobsters
Three people who will probably fill this out:
Two things you did last night:
Watched the Blazers get their asses handed to them by the Celtics
Sang to my parakeets before covering their cage
Two things you ate today:
Roqcamole
Roasted red pepper soup with feta cheese
Two people you last talked to on the phone:
Some fucking idiot who wanted to talk to me about investing in his oil drilling venture
Tracy
Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
Watch the Jets kick some 'Niner ass
Drink beer
Two longest car rides:
Troy, NY to Boca Raton, FL (Spring Break, 1990)
Madison, WI to Lubbock, TX
Two of your favorite beverages:
Laphroaig
Samiclaus
If you're bored, you're tagged.
Tags: memes
Busy, busy, busy day in the works here at Casa de Toast. Taking a brief break right now from putting up our new mantel, a job that I started last weekend but had to put on hold until we could get back to Lowe's and pick up a couple of small pieces of wood to use as spacers/supports. Hoping to have everything assembled today so that Tracy can paint it using the special VOC-free (and thus bird-safe) paints she drove an hour away to pick up on Thursday. Aside from that, I've got a new shelf to mount in the bathroom and a couple more windows to insulate. We're also planning on putting up our tree tomorrow, and then we have to go out to see the Jets play because for the third goddamned weekend in a row they're on opposite the Patriots. Oh yeah, and I really need to set aside at least a few hours for overtime coding if I want to avoid being at the office until 10:00 PM on Monday. Oh, and the bird cage needs to be cleaned. And the house is a mess. So, like I said, busy, busy, busy. With that kind of busyness, the only way any blogging's getting done is if we dust off the recently neglected format known as Slices of Toast!
Update: OK, I have a dilemma. Take a look at this picture of the mantel base I'm installing. Look a little off to you? Yeah, see here's the thing. I went to great lengths to make sure the base assembly was perfectly level - which it is - while neglecting to notice that the iron facing around the fireplace is not level. So while the horizontal spacing between the frame and the top of the ironwork is exactly 3" on both sides, the vertical gap at the top is 1/4" narrower on the right and the horizontal gap at the bottom left is almost 1/2" wider than on the right. Now, I don't mind compensating on that last bit by bringing the left leg in somewhat, but I'm really loathe to shorten it and make the mantel not-quite-level to match the not-at-all-level ironwork. Thoughts?
This story in today's Times on the growing threat of undetectable mal-ware scared the bejesus out of me. I've always thought that as long as I had one of the major anti-virus platforms installed (I have Norton Internet Security on my machine and Tracy has McAffee on hers) and kept the subscription up-to-date I'd be protected from the vast majority of the threats out there on the intertubes. Turns out, not so much (emphasis mine):
In October, researchers at the Georgia Tech Information Security Center reported that the percentage of online computers worldwide infected by botnets -- networks of programs connected via the Internet that send spam or disrupt Internet-based services -- is likely to increase to 15 percent by the end of this year, from 10 percent in 2007. That suggests a staggering number of infected computers, as many as 10 million, being used to distribute spam and malware over the Internet each day, according to research compiled by PandaLabs.
Security researchers concede that their efforts are largely an exercise in a game of whack-a-mole because botnets that distribute malware like worms, the programs that can move from computer to computer, are still relatively invisible to commercial antivirus software. A research report last month by Stuart Staniford, chief scientist of FireEye, a Silicon Valley computer security firm, indicated that in tests of 36 commercial antivirus products, fewer than half of the newest malicious software programs were identified.
As someone who transacts a substantial portion of my financial doings -- and, for that matter, a freakishly substantial portion of the rest of my life -- online, the notion that the protection I've bought and paid for may well be useless is both alarming and infuriating. Now, it's true that stories like this have been popping up in the media with some regularity since the dial-up age and the first baby-steps of online banking. So far -fingers crossed- no machine of mine has ever had a seriously debilitating infection and none of my personal information (well, to my knowledge at least) has been compromised. This article, however, makes it sound like it's just a matter of time before some fuckwad band of ne'er-do-wells infiltrates my digital sanctum. That would be a decidedly heinous event.
I'm all about seeing the views of nonbelievers given equal time in the public square - especially around the holidays - but there's a right and a wrong way to get our voices out there. The Freedom From Religion Foundation chose the wrong way:
(CNN) -- An atheist sign criticizing Christianity that was erected alongside a Nativity scene was taken from the Legislative Building in Olympia, Washington, on Friday and later found in a ditch.
An employee from country radio station KMPS-FM in Seattle told CNN the sign was dropped off at the station by someone who found it in a ditch.
"I thought it would be safe," Freedom From Religion Foundation co-founder Annie Laurie Gaylor told CNN earlier Friday. "It's always a shock when your sign is censored or stolen or mutilated. It's not something you get used to."
The sign, which celebrates the winter solstice, has had some residents and Christian organizations calling atheists Scrooges because they said it was attacking the celebration of Jesus Christ's birth.
The full wording of this sign that "celebrates the winter solstice"?
At this season of the Winter Solstice may reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils and no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.
I mean, yikes. Look, I'm pretty aggressive in my atheistic views, but even I wouldn't go so far as to make a blanket statement that religion "hardens hearts". And even if you truly believe that, isn't it kind of, well, dickish to put it on a display that you know is going to be sharing space with other displays celebrating religious belief systems? Come on. This isn't the way to win hearts and minds. Contrast this with the snarky but all-in-good-fun attitude of the ad campaign the American Humanist Association is running in DC, which asks "Why Believe in a God? Be good for goodness' sake."
Of course, I'm not at all surprised that the FFRF took a harsher, more needlessly confrontational line after reading this jaw-dropper from their co-founder, Dan Barker:
"When people ask us, 'Why are you hateful? Why are you putting up something critical of people's holidays? -- we respond that we kind of feel that the Christian message is the hate message. On that Nativity scene, there is this threat of internal violence if we don't submit to that master.
Um, dude? Free speech and church-state issues aside, if you look at a Nativity scene and see a threat of violence, you need counseling.
Tags: mantel, work, stealth malware, how to be a dickish atheist
3-9 Raiders! 4-8 Chargers! Thursday Night Football on NFL Network. It's faaaaaaaaaaan-tastic!
In other news, this story about the waxing fortunes of Miami QB Chadwick Pennington made me a little verklempt. That #10 has found a new home where he is successful and appreciated makes me very happy for him. But it also makes me miss our noodle-armed, glass-shouldered, scrappy underdog of a signal caller. I appreciate that Favre has played a large role in getting us to the top of the AFC East, but still, if we had the chance to do it over... (sigh).
Tags: NFL
Stuff I saw today but was too busy to blog about:
I knew Charlie Weis' tenure at Notre Dame wasn't going particularly well, but I had no idea it was this big of a trainwreck.
Why can't glibertarians grasp the seemingly simple notion that there are different strategies and constraints governing individual versus collective decision-making processes?
I don't really care what the motivation behind the name change was. I just know "Bombay" sounds really cool and "Mumbai" most definitely does not.
TwoGlasses.com officially endorses the Mr. Furious Detroit Bailout Plan. Especially the part about deep-sixing Buick, GMC and Hummer.
Don't look now, but my Blazers are 14-6 in the early going, winners of 6 straight, and atop the Northwest division. Perhaps my "Championship 2010" plans were too pessimistic?
Oh, one more thing: If you're on Facebook, join my mob, you fucking fucks.
Tags: Detroit bailout, glibertarians, Bombay, Portland Trailblazers, Charlie Weis
Ran across this nifty little tool today that takes what you drank in a given day and converts it into the equivalent in fattening foods. It's from the BBC so some of the items are, you know, all British and stuff. The effect is horrifying enlightening nonetheless. (h/t: Jim Downey at UTI)
Tags: drinking makes you fat