Today, the House of Representatives is scheduled to vote on the retooled bailout bill. The Senate is expected to follow suit later in the week. There's a great deal of uncertainty as to whether the measure will pass in either body. Financial big-wigs, lobbyists, and Beltway power brokers are all pushing hard for it, but the bill is hugely unpopular with the public at large. Hilzoy wrote a post last night that did an excellent job of capturing the ambivalence many are feeling about the situation. I continue to list about five degrees towards the "pass it" side of the fence, but I sympathize with those on the "no bailout" side (that was my initial reaction, after all). There's no way to know if this potentially gigantic transfer of funds will have the desired effect of getting credit flowing again, putting the nation back on its feet for good, or if it will just allow a fundamentally-flawed banking and finance system another short lease on life, like giving an alcoholic a liver transplant, or a three-packs-a-day smoker a new set of lungs. We just don't know. And given the potential consequences of choosing wrong, that uncertainty really sucks.
Update: Well, the House, in a Republican revolt that was supported by just enough Democrats to be effective, has put the kibosh on the Bailout bill. Now we all get to sit back and watch Wall Street reap the whirlwind, keeping our fingers crossed that they don't take every man, woman and child in America with them. Here's a thought: If things really do go straight to hell -- the Dow is down 600 points already on news of the bill's defeat and who the hell knows how much further it could fall once investors internalize the fact that they're on their own -- won't it virtually guarantee that Obama wins the election? I would find it rather ironic if that happy development turned out to be an unintended consequence of the GOP's actions today.
Tags: Wall Street bailout
4:30 PM: OK, that was a crazy performance by Favre. And, of course, I had him on the bench in three out of my four fantasy leagues.
4:15 PM: Touchdown! Favre to Keller! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
3:53 PM: Touchdown! Favre with another bomb to Catchery! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
(Hey, this Brett Favre guy looks pretty good today.)
3:35 PM: Touchdown! Favre to Catchery! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
2:20 PM: Touchdown! Favre to Coles again! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
2:15 PM: Arizona is playing like a team on a mission right now. And that mission is to restore the Jets' confidence.
2:10 PM: Touchdown! Favre with a BOMB to 'Slaw! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
1:40 PM: Touchdown! Kurt Warner to Darrelle Revis! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
1:35 PM: Touchdown! Fav-ruh to Coleslaw! J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
1:19 PM: Nine minutes into the game and we have our first Brett Favre interception of the day. This man is going to kill me.
12:45 PM: Football fans! Welcome to Week Four of the NFL season on the Virtual Couch™! Getting this week's edition started just under the wire, as you can see. Tracy and I were up in Boston yesterday for a party and we just rolled into the Shire moments ago. More details on that later. Funny story. I think you'll enjoy it.
Here's today's lineup: At 1:00 PM we've got Cardinals at Jets on FOX and Broncos at Chiefs on CBS. At 4:00 PM we've got Skins at Boys on FOX. Tonight brings us Eagles at Bears, which sounds to me like a great opportunity to catch up on our backlog of shows on DVR from the week. MNF this week is even worse: Ravens at Steelers. Thank FSM for Dancing With the Stars. OK, time for me to head downstairs and watch Brett Favre scramble around like a chicken with his head cut off for three hours.
Tags: NFL
Kevin Drum on Chris Cox:
QUOTE OF THE DAY....From SEC chairman Christopher Cox:
"The last six months have made it abundantly clear that voluntary regulation does not work."
Manfully owned up to, Mr. Chairman. Only one thing: you need to change "last six months" to "last ten thousand years."
Tags: human behavior
Sad news: Paul Newman has died at the age of 83. Put me in the "I had no idea he was that old" column. Newman, for reasons that are pretty clear when you think about the sort of person he was, always struck me as a young sixty-something.
Angelos sums the man up nicely: "An all-time great everything. Actor, man, humanitarian."
And Lisa at Cogitamus provides a quote from Newman that tells you everything you need to know about him:
"I wanted to acknowledge luck; the chance and benevolence of it in my life, and the brutality of it in the lives of others, who might not be allowed the good fortune of a lifetime to correct it."
Socrates famously opined that "True wisdom consists in knowing that we know nothing" - a necessary reminder to keep our egos in check and not be too amazed by how clever we are. I would counter, however, that the greatest wisdom of all lies in acknowledging the role that luck -- random chance, accidents of birth and circumstance, being in the right or wrong place at the right or wrong time -- plays in all of our lives.
Paul Newman was a wise man, and the world is a poorer place with his passing.
Tags: Paul Newman
10:00 AM: Oh, this is simply too awesome for words. TPM commenter "TB":
I think people really are missing the point about McCain's failure to look at Obama. McCain was afraid of Obama. It was really clear--look at how much McCain blinked in the first half hour. I study monkey behavior--low ranking monkeys don't look at high ranking monkeys. In a physical, instinctive sense, Obama owned McCain tonight and I think the instant polling reflects that.
John McCain: Low-ranking monkey. (h/t: Chemist)
8:15 AM: I didn't pick up on this during the debate -- probably because I was more listening than watching, thanks to the torrid pace of the comments section -- but the Atlantic's James Fallows noted the following:
Unless it happened when I glanced away, up until this moment, 77 minutes into the 90-minute debates, John McCain has not once looked at Obama -- while listening to him, while addressing him, while disagreeing with him, while finding moments of accord.
This is distinctly strange -- if anyone else notices. Obama is acting as if this is a conversation; McCain, as if he cannot acknowledge the other party in the discussion.
What's funny is that the last time I saw someone behave this way in a debate it was McCain's butt-buddy, Joe Lieberman, dissing Ned Lamont. It's a disturbingly uncivil stance to adopt. Unsurprising, I guess, to see it coming from a contemptuous bag of shit like McCain.
11:10 PM: I'd be surprised if that debate moved the needle for a single voter. There was a little bit of static, a few jabs that landed, but both candidates were tightly controlled in their affect. Hell, I zoned out several times due to boredom. Not at all what I expected.
9:45 PM: Obama: "John, you like to pretend like the war started in 2006." BAM!
9:35 PM: This ridiculous argument that government-provided healthcare necessarily means that the decision-making power over care choices winds up in the hands of the goverment rather than the patient and doctor really needs to go the fuck away. It's a ridiculous canard. As if private health insurers give patient and doctor carte-blanche. Spare me.
9:14 PM: McCain is tight, controlled, and reasonably on-topic so far. I'm surprised.
9:08 PM: McCain: "It was the House Republicans that decided to be part of the solution." Whuuuuuuh? In what universe?
6:45 PM: So who's ready for the Big Show? I'm pretty wound up for this. I'm a little on edge. Something tells me this is going to get ugly. I think after all the stunts McCain has pulled and all the shit that he's flung, it's very unlikely that he shows up tonight (grudgingly), sits down, and has an issue-based discussion. I think it's much more likely that he shows up and does everything he can to insult Obama and smear his character. Honestly, I'm not sure how Obama will respond to that or even how he should respond to it. If he keeps to the high road, he looks like a pussy. If he rips McCain back, it turns into a pissing match and he looks like just another petty politician. Really, it's the same dynamic that's informed the entire campaign, going back to the primaries. So far, for the most part, Obama's managed to thread that needle, often with aplomb. But this is the crucible right here. This is a cage match. Undecided Americans tuning in to get an impression of the candidates are going to form those impressions quickly, in real time. Obama's got to show his substantive side without coming across as a nuance-obsessed technocrat. He's got to show his high-minded, idealistic side without coming across as a fluff-filled suit. He's got to do both while showing he can take a punch, counter-punch, and fight fair no matter how dirty his opponent fights. And he's got to do it all in, what, ninety minutes? Okay then.
Tags: presidential debates
Looks like Sir Lies-a-lot blinked. McCain has decided to "resume" campaigning -- as if he actually stopped; as if this whole "suspending his campaign to deal with the financial crisis" wasn't, in fact, the biggest campaign stunt anyone's pulled in my lifetime -- and attend the debate in Mississippi. This is from his campaign's statement on the decision:
"The difference between Barack Obama and John McCain was apparent during the White House meeting yesterday where Barack Obama's priority was political posturing in his opening monologue defending the package as it stands. John McCain listened to all sides so he could help focus the debate on finding a bipartisan resolution that is in the interest of taxpayers and homeowners. The Democratic interests stood together in opposition to an agreement that would accommodate additional taxpayer protections."
Aside from the bit about the difference between the candidates being on display yesterday, there is not one true statement in that paragraph. It is a series of vicious, bald-faced lies. My blood was boiling after reading that. I am stupefied at what an absolute piece of shit this man has revealed himself to be. The staid and sober John B. Judis had this reaction to McCain's despicable antics:
[I]t is simply unpatriotic--it's an insult to flag, country, and all the things that McCain claims to hold dear--for McCain to hold this financial crisis hostage to his political ambitions. McCain doesn't know a thing about finance and is no position to help work out an agreement. If we do suffer a serious bank run, or a run on the dollar, it can be laid directly at his feet. As I said to friends last night, if McCain had been president at this point, I would have wanted to impeach him.
That brings me back to David Brooks' column. David thinks that beneath the surface of McCain the craven campaigner, that the man who nominated an ill-prepared Sarah Palin as his possible successor and has lent his energies to blocking a financial bailout, there still sits a "real McCain" who could govern fairly and effectively as president. I doubt it. I really doubt it. Whether because of age or overreaching ambition, McCain has become the kind of man he earlier railed against. He has become the Bush of 2000 against whom he campaigned or the Senate and House Republicans whom he despised. His defeat is now imperative.
In-fucking-deed.
Tags: John McCain is a piece of shit, presidential debates
From everything I've read in the papers this morning about yesterday's meeting at the White House, one thing is certain: When the dust settles and all this is behind us, HBO has to do a movie about it. I mean, let's see, we've got:
The Secretary of the Treasury on bended knee pleading with the Democratic House Majority Leader.
The Dumbest President in History blurting out one of his classic home-spun chunks of anti-insight.
The Republican candidate for the presidency, who loudly announced that he's suspending his campaign to fix the biggest financial mess since the Great Depression, showing up and sitting like a lump on a log, doing absolutely nothing as a deal that allegedly met every requirement on his wish list fell apart.
The GOP House Minority Leader dropping an 11th-hour turd in the punchbowl.
A debate that may or may not happen, or may sort of happen, or might turn into a one-man town hall.
The largest bank failure in U.S. history going down in the background. (Talk about a "Fiddling while Rome burns" moment.)
You can't make this shit up. I am utterly spellbound by the unfolding clusterfuck.
Tags: John McCain, Republicans, financial crisis
I gather USC (2-0) is playing this evening, although given that their opponent is Oregon (1-2) [ed: or Oregon State. Whatever.] I'm not sure why that's a terribly significant game. Nevertheless, there's no real reason not to toss the Saturday College Couch out a bit early. Have at it.
Tags: college football
The post title? Bill Clinton's new nickname. Because when you pull shit like this, you don't get to be called "Big Dog" anymore:
Bill Clinton is still at it. This morning he was on ABC pronouncing that McCain had acted in "good faith" in asking to postpone Friday's debate and reminding people that McCain even wanted more debates. There really should be an equal time law or something stipulating that Chris Rock must follow Bill Clinton on all of his TV appearances.
Seriously, Bill: Why not just give us the Full Lieberman? In your heart of hearts, it's what you want to do.
Tags: Bill Clinton
"I believe companies that make bad decisions should be allowed to go out of business. Under normal circumstances I would have followed this course." -- George W. Bush, in his 15-minute harangue last night
Really, sir? I don't believe that for a minute. Your personal history strongly suggests that the idea of businesses being allowed to fail due to mismanagement is utterly foreign to you. If you were in charge of one of those clown shows on Wall Street, I suspect at this point you'd be calling in favors from your Poppy's rich Saudi friends. Or maybe trying to merge with a larger company (which you would subsequently go on to drag down into disaster). Failing? That's not an option for members of your caste, and I suspect that's the real reason you're so desperate to put another trillion dollars on the nation's corporate charge card on behalf of these ne'er-do-wells: When you look at the reckless, incompetent frauds who have brought low so many of our major financial institutions, you see a reflection of your own failures past, and you feel for them; you empathize at a deep, personal level with their desire to avoid accountability, cover up incompetence, and have a powerful father figure make it all better. In fact, I daresay it's the first demonstration of real empathy we've seen from you in eight years.
Tags: George Bush
Looking at the recent arc of John McCain's campaign -- basically from the time he picked Sarah Palin to be his running mate up through today's announcement that he was "suspending" his campaign to focus on the financial crisis -- I think it's time for a new McCain theme song, and I think I've got the perfect choice.
Tags: desperation, lack of seriousness
"Isn't this the campaign equivalent of faking an injury when you're down late in the 4th quarter?" -- Josh Marshall, on John McCain's request to suspend Friday night's debate so he can return to Washington and solve the financial crisis (snicker)
Tags: John McCain is chickenshit
After a week and a half of stories about chaos on Wall Street and impending economic doom, the latest WaPo/ABC News poll shows Barack Obama up nine points nationally over John McCain. Logically, then, the smart tactical move for Obama was to lobby McCain to switch the topic of Friday's presidential debate from the economy to foreign policy.
Tags: Obama
So here we've got this financial catastrophe that's been years in the making -- no, make that decades if you count all the long-term efforts to deregulate everything under the Sun -- and yet Paulson is out there saying we have to "move quickly" to enact the seriously sketchy trillion-dollar bailout package the administration dropped on Congress' desk over the weekend. Right. Because, you know, whenever Congress rushes to rubber stamp some scheme the Bush Administration comes up with, it always works out so well for all concerned.
Tags: bank bailout
Sun - 3:52 PM: What. A. Game. Pats lose at home to the Dolphins 38 - 13. That's not just any loss, that's humiliation right there. The Patriots regular-season winning streak is now over and they go into their bye wondering how the hell their defense got the ever-loving snot kicked out of them by an 0-2 cellar dweller and if maybe they need to go looking for a different answer at QB. Good times. Thank you, Ronnie Brown. Well done.
Sun - 2:20 PM: BREAKING NEWS: The New England Patriots, currently trailing the Miami Dolphins 21 to 6, were just booed off the field at halftime. I am absolutely giddy.
Sun - 12:15 PM: ---Fantasy Update---
Work League (1-1): Taking on last year's Superbowl runner-up this week and I'm favored by 13 points. With the exception of Adrian Peterson his team's pretty weak (an observation borne out by the fact that he's tied for fewest points in the league after two weeks). I've got Eli at QB vs. Cincy, which should be good for a ton of points (why the fuck isn't that game on TV again?) plus LDT and Daily Show host Jon Stewart at RB and Andre Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald at WR. I am going to crush my opponent's hopes and dreams.
Frat League (2-0): Fantasy Guru has me losing this game 95 - 59. I don't see it working out that way. I've got Warner, he's got Romo. I've got Kevin Smith and Matt Forte, he's got Addai and Michael Turner. I've got Boldin and Chambers, he's got Moss and Santonio Holmes. I'd give the bad guys a slight edge, but I predict a very competitive game.
Angelos League (1-1): I fully expect to cruise this week in Helmets & Shouldamapads. At QB, it's the battle of former and current Green Bay QB's as I run Favre out for MNF and he sends Rogers in. The way Rogers has been playing, my adversary might have an edge. After that, though, forget it. Portis and Big Jake should mop the floor with Fast Willie and Chester Taylor. At WR, I have Owens, Moss and Steve Smith. I repeat: I have Terrell Owens and Randy Moss and Steve Smith. (How is it even possible for one team to land all three of those guys? I'm just awesome, I guess. On a related note, how the fuck did I lose to Angelos last week? This team should have gone undefeated.)
Toasters (1-1): I am experiencing cognitive dissonance here. The preview gives me the advantage over Michelline at every position except wideout (she has Boldin, I've got Santonio Holmes). I have to assume John Madden does the ratings, because there's no way any neutral observer gives Favre the edge over Romo. I'm taking a chance by starting McGahee this week, but she's got a Toomer in that slot, so whatever. Still, something tells me the Moo Moos are going to severely discipline the Problem Child.
Sun - 10:40 AM: In the Last Man Standing pool I'm in, we're already down to 28 players from the original 50. I did something a little crazy this week: I took Seattle. Having already used Dallas and the G-Men, I felt I needed to get my hands dirty and start sneaking some of the non-elite teams past the Gambling Gods. The Shithawks certainly qualify as "non-elite" but as they're hosting the Worst Team in Football this week I thought I'd give 'em a shot. Don't blow this for me, Seattle.
Sun - 10:35 AM: Let's review today's slate of games: At 1:00 PM on CBS we've got the 0-2 Miami Mahi Mahis at the 2-0 New England Hatriots. It'd be nice to see Chadwick and company put an end to New England's ridiculous regular-season winning streak, but as 12.5-point underdogs you know it's a pipe dream. At 4:00 PM we've 2-0 Shittsburgh at 1-1 Philly on CBS and the 1-1 Saints of New Orleans at the 2-0 Broncos of Denver on FOX. The latter game is far more compelling to me than the Pennsylvania Bowl, but I'm sure I'll switch back and forth. Tonight we've got Dallas at Green Bay, which should be another outstanding offensive showdown. Tomorrow, the New York Bretts fall to 1-2 against the Chargers. (But hey, the schedule gets a lot easier starting next week, so there's that.) All in all, it's looking like a pretty good week for us non-dish owners. I wish CBS was showing the Colts for the late game instead of the Steelers, but I can deal.
Sun - 10:30 AM: It's week three of the NFL season and finally -- finally -- I have got an entire day of NFL football lined up. No need to go out to a bar, as our Jets are on tomorrow night. No trips to New York (although we will flip over to see a little of the final game at the Stadium tonight). Just football. Just me, Tracy, the television, the couch, the Couch™ and a whole lotta football. This is Sunday as the Flying Spaghetti Monster intended it. Welcome, my friends, to week three on the VC. Let's rock this joint.
Tags: NFL
Phew! Finally finished the Big E post. That took a lot longer than I anticipated. Enjoy!
Tags: Big E
Feel the passion!
Tags: College football
Not without the framework that government regulation provides. Not without rules. Not without constraints. Absent these things, the great engine of the market is like a motor hooked to a drivetrain with no brakes, no steering wheel. Or, no, much more on point: It's like a nuclear reactor with no control rods, all raw destructive power that spins out of control and causes great harm to those trying to harness it. The idea that "free" markets -- capitalism unfettered by regulatory structures or any eye towards the larger concerns of society -- would all by itself allow humanity to flourish is one of the dumbest ideas anyone has ever come up with. And yet it's been the dominant economic/political paradigm for all of my adult life. Can we start getting serious now? Can we move on?
Tags: capitalism
As I am approaching the halfway mark of a four-day weekend, I can't really get into my "Woo Hoo!!! It's finally Friday!" groove. Hell, I've been sitting on my ass zoning out for most of the day, fiddling with my Big E page (should be up sometime tomorrow). About the only significant accomplishment I can boast of is that I cleaned and redecorated the bird cage. (You're supposed to shake things up every now and then -- move perches around, rotate toys, put their food dishes in different places -- to avoid both boredom and over-territoriality.) And yet, while this may not be my usual climax-of-the-week Friday, I still feel compelled to brown up some Slices of Toast. Join me, then, as I meander through my brain in search of things to opine on upon which to opine.
I was reading Kevin Drum's Friday Cat Blogging post just now -- and can I just take a moment to say "thank you" to all of you who blog about your cats for allowing my sorry, allergy-ridden but cat-loving self to live through you vicariously? -- and he brought up something that has always irritated me:
Fall is here! I know your puny human calendar says it's still a few days away, but I know better because my seasonal alarm clock has spoken. A few days ago, after a summer of ignoring it, Domino once again demanded (literally) that we clear the junk off the sheepskin pod and put it back up on the couch for her to sleep in. This is a much better indicator than all that solstice/equinox stuff.
Am I the only one who finds what I'll call "season pedantry" annoying? By that I mean people who are hung up on the astronomical definitions of the seasons as opposed to the geographical/meteorological reality of the seasons. You know, the person who, when it's ninety degrees out on Memorial Day and the forecast calls for temps in the eighties and nineties for the foreseeable future, feels compelled to tell you that it's not "really" Summer yet. I prefer to think of a "season" as a stretch of time where a particular set of climatological conditions prevail. It's not like a calendar month. It doesn't have hard and fast start and end dates. Seasons are what they are and, just as importantly, they are when they are. I got up this morning and had to turn on the heat for the first time in months. I also had to wear a jacket out to the store this afternoon. That means that, here in Connecticut, at least, it's Fall.
I commented earlier on McCain's shockingly douchebaggish accusations that Obama is responsible for the melt-down on Wall Street and that he has spent his time in Warshington trying to "game the system". I mean, that's rich coming from one of the key fucktards in the Keating Five scandal. There's just nothing this infuriating prick won't say at this point. While my reaction to McCain's bullshit was to experience an intense desire to punch him in the face, Obama's response was level-headed and devastating:
"This morning Senator McCain gave a speech in which his big solution to this worldwide economic crisis was to blame me for it."
"This is a guy who's spent nearly three decades in Washington, and after spending the entire campaign saying I haven't been in Washington long enough, he apparently now is willing to assign me responsibility for all of Washington's failures.
"Now, I think it's a pretty clear that Senator McCain is a little panicked right now. At this point he seems to be willing to say anything or do anything or change any position or violate any principle to try and win this election, and I've got to say it's kind of sad to see. That's not the politics we need."
That's some strong Kung Fu right there. First point out how ridiculous McCain's argument is on its face: Yeah, the guy who's been in DC for two years is the reason all our investment banks are flying down the shitter, not the guy who's made a decades-long career of screeching about the need to trash one regulatory regime after another. And then the "panic" jab. That's sweet. That'd make for a very nice media narrative heading into the final stretch of this election.
Speaking of the chaos on Wall Street this week, it looks like we're going to see the U.S. government step in and hand all da playuhs who have so badly screwed the pooch a trillion-dollar Get Out of Jail Free card. Now, I don't know much about the economy. Hell, I'm John McCain-stupid on economic matters. Still, I just have to ask all the Wingers out there: What was that stuff about government always being the problem and we should just let the market do it's thing? How's that working out?
What Nick said:
I get what she's trying to say, but here's Hillary Clinton: "I think you have to ask yourself and it's a little exercise I'd like everybody in the press, and really all of us, to go through: Would the same thing be said about a man in a similar position and the answer 99 times out of 100 is no. I think it's been a long time since anybody covered what Barack Obama, Joe Biden, or John McCain wear or their hairstyle or any other personal characteristic like that."
Yes, you have to go all the way back to 2007, when the press spent a month talking about John Edwards' $400 haircut.
... Wait, no, you don't have to go that far back. On September 1st, a network news reporter told Barack Obama that he doesn't like beer.
... Whoops not even that far. This Monday, Jon Decker said Joe Biden does not "help[] his case when he's making the argument on economic issues wearing French cuffs and dressed to the nines."
Really now, could we just shit-can all the obsessing over bogus charges of sexism until November 5th? Please? I'm fucking begging here, people.
Do you ever get stuck in the Alt-Tab cycle? You know, when you're cycling between windows and you just keep missing the one you're trying to get to and so you end up Alt-Tabbing through everything like five fucking times? I hate that when that happens.
Tags: seasons, Obama bitch-slaps McCain, government and markets, more fake sexism bullshit, alt + tab
This might be the weirdest headline (and, for that matter, one of the weirdest stories) I've ever seen:
Blind Masseurs Jump From Bridge
I mean, that really got the ol' [pantomimes John Stewart rubbing his eyes in disbelief] "Bwuuuuuuuh?"
I did not know that, in South Korea, until very recently, national law stipulated that only blind people could be masseurs. For that matter, I did not know, until very recently, that the plural of "masseuse" was "masseurs". I would have guessed "masseuses". Anyhow, go figure.
Tags: blind masseurs
Man, I unplug for just a day and the next morning I've got over 200 items in my newsreader to plow through. Lucky for me, roughly half of those news headlines and blog posts were centered on a single easy-to-skim topic: The ignorance of John McCain and Sarah Palin.
First, in an interview with a Spanish newspaper, John McCain -- Mr. Foreign-Policy Big Pants, remember? -- either totally blanked on who the president of Spain was or he thinks that Spain is somewhere in Central America. That he didn't clue in when his interlocutor tried to patiently walk him through the question a second and third time suggests he's either the world's worst listener or just a bit addle-brained.
Second, McCain bragged that if he were president right now, he'd fire SEC Chairman Christopher Cox. Which would be nothing but another irritatingly shallow dick-swinging moment from America's favorite former POW (and former prisoner of war) except for the small detail that the president can't fire the chairman of the SEC.
Third, not wanting to be accused of failing to hold up her end of the Dumbest Presidential Ticket in Modern History, Sarah Palin opined that the reason the government had to regrettably step in and bail out AIG had to do with all the "impactful construction bonds" that they hold. Nobody appeared to have the slightest hint what she was talking about. It kinda sounds to me like the sort of total-bullshit answer you toss out there when you're on a conference call, haven't been paying any attention to what's going on, and someone suddenly asks for you to weigh in on what they've been talking about. "What? Um, me? Oh, it's the construction bonds. Very impactful. Such a shame." (BTW, I'm just drawing an analogy to a phenomenon I've witnessed over the years. I, personally, always pay attention on conference calls.)
Fourth, the governor of America's third-largest oil-producing state produced this awe-inspiring bit of off-the-cuff opinionating:
"Of course, it's a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the molecules, where it's going and where it's not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it's Americans who get stuck holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It's got to flow into our domestic markets first."
Uh... yeah. As Hilzoy put it, "I'm not sure I fully grasp that, though I am relieved to know that they, whoever they are, don't have to sit around flagging individual molecules all day long."
Jeeeeezus.
Right now, John McCain and Sarah Palin are a slightly less-than-even bet to walk in the White House door on January 21st, 2009. That is a terrifying prospect not just because they're a pair of right-wing ideological hacks and not just because they're both individuals of deeply questionable character, but also because, as becomes more apparent by the day, neither of them seems to know fuck all about anything whatsoever.
Tags: John McCain, Sarah Palin, ignorance and stupidity
Tracy and I are off to The Big E! Woo Hoo!!! Tom Thumb donuts! Lobster rolls in the Maine House! The Brew Garden! Rides! Farm animals! Butter sculpture! OK, maybe "butter sculpture" doesn't need an exclamation point, but as you can see, we're very excited. It's been three years since we've been to the Eastern States Exposition - the largest fair in the northeast - and we can't wait to go stuff our faces, wander around people-watching, and buy stuff we don't need. We both took the day off so we could go up during the week, when it's not quite the jam-packed mob scene it is on the weekends. I'll have pictures tonight or tomorrow, promise.
Tags: Big E
There's been quite a bit of talk over the last week and a half that, with the McCain campaign pushing politically-driven mendacity to heights not witnessed in most of our lifetimes, the media might be reaching a "tipping point" where their dominant narrative switches from "John McCain and Sarah Palin are maverick reformers who will shake up Warshington" to "John McCain and Sarah Palin are pathological liars who should be kept as far away from the levers of power as humanly possible." I have my doubts that this will take -- our media are nothing if not slavishly loyal to the GOP -- but if it's going to, this story should help:
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin will not cooperate with a legislative investigation into the firing of her public safety commissioner, the McCain-Palin presidential campaign announced Monday, accusing supporters of Democratic rival Barack Obama of manipulating the inquiry for political motivations.
Former Palin Press Secretary Meg Stapleton told reporters in Anchorage that the investigation has been "hijacked" by "Obama operatives" for the Democratic presidential nominee -- namely, Alaska state Sen. Hollis French, the Democratic lawmaker managing the investigation and an Obama supporter. French has denied working on behalf of the Obama campaign.
It is unsurprising in the extreme, of course, to see Palin stonewalling an investigation that she earlier pledged to cooperate with fully. From that first Friday when she was named to the ticket and we found out she was under investigation for abuse of power, we knew that much would happen. Claiming interference by "Obama operatives" as the reason Palin is refusing to cooperate with the investigation, however, is a wonderfully audacious bit of lying insanity. That's the kind of thing that should earn Palin a segment on Stephen Colbert's That's the Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard!
Mon - 7:30 AM: Our farewell trip to Yankee Stadium turned out to be a bit of a mixed bag. The day did not wind up being drizzly and overcast; it was clear with temps in the mid-90°'s and a thousand percent humidity. We were just dying out there in the bleachers - me especially, but nobody was remotely comfortable. Sitting perfectly still with the Sun pounding down on us, coated in sheaths of occasionally puddling sweat, we stuck it out until mid-way through the sixth inning before bolting across the street to Ball Park Air Conditioned Sports Bar, Grill, and Bowling Alley. It wasn't an entirely awful experience. We were treated to an A-Rod grand slam in the first inning that landed not thirty feet from us in the bleachers, and we got to witness Derek Jeter tying Lou Gehrig's record for all-time hits at Yankee Stadium. Oh, and in a deeply emotional moment, we saw Carl Pavano leave the mound with an injury for what might be the very last time. These are the things you can't put a price tag on, my friends.
Mon - 7:00 AM: The headline of Mike Vaccaro's article in the Post this morning reads "No Shame in Losing to Brady-Less Pats". I could not disagree more. What I saw from the Jets yesterday, at least on offense, was exactly that: Shameful. Other words, like "inept" and "disjointed" also come to mind. Vaccaro claims that the Jets coaching staff needs to "get on the same page" as Favre. That's an unusual formulation of the coach-QB relationship, but maybe it's right. Maybe, too, the Jets offensive line needs to figure out that a little pass blocking would be nice alongside that big helping of run blocking they've been giving us. Maybe Favre still has some rust to knock off. Whatever the reason for yesterday's performance, I know this much: The Jets passing offense we caught bits of as we hunted for an acceptable NFL-watching venue near the Stadium did not execute anything that resembled a "play". Every time #4 took the ball, he seemed to be desperately scrambling around and trying to pull something out of his ass. Just a hunch, but I don't think that's where your playbook is, Brett.
Sun - 9:00 AM: Tracy, Chemist and I are heading down to Yankee Stadium in a few minutes, where we'll meet Fridge and proceed to our seats in the bleachers. It is the last time any of us will see a game at The Stadium (and the first time for Chemist). The circumstances of this farewell could be, um, better. The Yanks have pretty much checked out for the season, sinking into 4th place in the AL East. Carl Fucking Pavano is pitching today's game. Oh, and the forecast calls for drizzle all day long. Oh, and I have a mighty hangover. Still, this is something that Must Be Done. The House that Ruth Built is closing its doors for good in a couple of weeks, and it would be unacceptable to not pay it one last visit.
After the game, we'll be sticking around the Bronx for a bit. We're going to find the nearest bar and watch the Jets kick some Patriot ass. And make no mistake, that's what's gonna happen. Tom Brady is on the sidelines and Brett Favre is wearing Jet green. Today is the day Bill Belicheat gets his come-uppance. I hope he's bringing his video camera. He's going to need it.
Obviously, the four of us won't be checking in until quite late, so you kids have fun today. Don't break anything.
Tags: NFL
Death Magnetic (Metallica): Remember how happy you were when you saw Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country? It wasn't the best of the Trek movies, but it was damn good, and coming after the piece of shit that was Star Trek V it felt a bit cathartic to see the team back on their game, right? This album is like that. I personally thought St. Anger sucked such a huge bag of dicks that maybe Metallica was over, but Death Magnetic put that concern to rest a minute into the first track. This is classic Metallica. Imagine ...And Justice For All with tighter, crisper songwriting. If you liked Metallica up as far as the Black Album but they lost you afterwards, now is a great time to come back to the fold.
Tags: Metallica
Are you on Facebook? If so, join my blog network, bitchez! If not, what's your fucking problem? Who are you, John "'Fraid of the E-mail" McCain? Come on, get with the Web 2.0 paradiggem, ya Luddite.
Tags: Facebook
Farhad Manjoo has a piece in Slate that asks the question "Why doesn't Barack Obama lie more often?" It's a decent review of the state of the campaigns (although I think he over-emphasizes the few occasions where Obama has "stretched the truth" in order to provide fauxbjectivity) but Manjoo leaves unanswered the question behind his question: Assuming lying works, should Obama do it?
So here's a scenario: The Devil - who looks suspiciously like Howie Mandel - appears before Barack Obama. "Barry," he says, "I've got a proposition for you: I will guarantee you a victory on November 4th. I will see to it that, no matter what happens, you get enough electoral votes to make you President of the United States of America. You'll be the one calling the shots for the next four years. You'll be the one charting the course. Just imagine everything you can accomplish. Imagine the ways you can shape the country. A hundred years from now, your face will be on Rushmore. You will be The Man. But here's the catch: I want you to lie. I'm not talking about shading the facts or stretching the case or merely making the Truth uncomfortable; I want you to take a big ol' shit right in the Truth's mouth. I need to see you out there proclaiming things that would make Karl Rove red with embarrassment. I need to see you lie with a smile, listen to the media debunk your lie, and then tell it again. Are you with me? Hey, man, fate of the Free World and all - you hear what I'm saying? Deal, or No Deal?"
What do you do? I mean hey, people, fate of the Free World's at stake. Starting right now, if Obama runs a disgusting and viciously mendacious campaign, he wins. No John McCain as president. No four more years of Bush policies and all the destruction that entails. Do you do the deal?
I don't. I've waited forever for an aggressive, smash-mouth brand of Democratic politics, but all along I've maintained that being angry and fierce does not require us to stoop to the other side's level. Strike hard, strike fast, show now mercy, sure, but don't lie and don't cheat. To me, it's part of being a liberal: The ends never justify the means. But I'm curious if we've got any dissenters to that position. Eight weeks of constant lying guarantees an Obama presidency. What say you?
Tags: lying
Hello out there! What's going on? Me? Well, it's a rainy Friday night in the Shire and I wrapped up my work work for the week a couple of hours ago. Then I got the weekly packie run taken care of, picked up a prescription, and dropped off Tracy's anniversary gift at UPS (returning it for one that will hopefully not arrive broken). Now I'm sitting here with a cold Beamish and the Pogues playing on iTunes. So what time is it? What time is it? Well, obviously, it's time for Cleaning the House!
Ha. You thought I was going to say Slices of Toast, didn't you? Yeah, there'll be some of that too. Seriously, though, Tracy gave me a list of a hundred and fifty seven things that need to be cleaned and tidied before Chemist and Fridge come up tomorrow -- why she obsesses about cleaning before guys come over I know not -- so it's going to be, like, Clean, Slice, Clean, Slice, etc.. We'll see how it works out. (So far I've got the shower cleaned and I cleared out the drains in both the shower and the bathroom sink. After dealing with that nasty shit I think I should get the rest of the night off.)
Laveranues Coles needs to grow up. The Jets wide receiver - long a favorite of mine - is really starting to piss me off with his sulking over Chad Pennington's release. We get it, Laveranues, you guys are close, you're buds, you had a rapport on the playing field - we understand. You're also a professional athlete, dude. Guys get traded. Sometimes they're guys you really like. Most of your colleagues don't handle it by boycotting the media for a month and then playing up the mournful, listless, woe-is-me routine. You'd think your wife had left you or something. Buck up, little soldier. Let us sing more cheerful songs! More joyful! You've got a Hall of Famer throwing to you and the division is ours for the taking.
(Downstairs toilet cleaned)
I've been sort of on the fence about Righteous Kill. The previews didn't rock my world -- it looked like a pretty generic cop flick -- but... you know... DeNiro! Pacino! Eh.... ! Right? Wrong.
If this movie is half as bad as TNR's Christopher Orr makes it out to be, it may kill the last little bit of buzz that attends these two aging automatons:
Here's what I took away from Righteous Kill, the grade Z cop thriller opening today: If you can come up with the scratch, Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino will do anything: kid's parties, bar mitzvahs, retirement luncheons, you name it. The two of them could dress up as clowns and sing a duet of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" while tying balloon animals for a passel of second graders and it would be a less embarrassing career step than this movie.
Typically, a film this awful is at least awful in an interesting way. There's something about it that gets under the skin and infuriates. But Righteous Kill is awful in ways so dull and obvious they hardly merit listing: a climactic plot twist that's apparent ten minutes into the movie; dialogue so shopworn--"This was a cluster fuck to end all cluster fucks"--it should've been remaindered; more adolescent yardsticking by geriatric men than you'd endure on a blind date with Jack Nicholson. No joke: I walked into this movie two nights ago a healthy man and left with a fever of 102 that plagues me still. Be forewarned.
Um, OK then. I think I'll skip it. Forever.
(Stove top cleaned)
I saw this article, titled "How to talk to your doctor about God" in my CNN feeds this morning, and I just knew it would piss me off. Sure enough, I was right. Here are the five little pieces of wisdom that Elizabeth Cohen shares with her religiously vexed readers, along with rebuttal of same:
1. It's OK to ask for a doctor who also has strong religious convictions
If "strong religious convictions" are what you're looking for in a doctor, try a faith healer. Me? I want a doctor with strong professional credentials.
2. Don't be surprised if you find No. 1 difficult to do
The reason you find it difficult is because it's silly.
3. It's OK to ask your doctor to pray with you
No, it's really not. Your doctor might be of a different religion or might be a non-believer. It's not your place to put them in an uncomfortable situation by asking them to talk to your invisible friend with you. And in any event, I'm guessing that they've got more important things to do with their time. Being a doctor and all.
4. Be specific about your religious needs
Yup, when you're talking to your holy man. Not so much your physician.
5. If you believe in miracles, say so
Fine, but don't come crying to me if you get laughed at. Your doctor -- assuming you didn't take my advice from item 1 -- has been trained in the medical sciences, not the medical happy thoughts. What possible good is it going to do to tell him or her that all that rationally goodness is fine as far as it goes, but you're betting on your Big Guy in the Sky to step in if things go South? Keep that wack shit to yourself.
God, I hate religion.
Palin flames out on the Bush Doctrine. Right-wing über Hack Bill Kristol rallies to her defense. Andrew Sullivan tees the fuck off:
Memo to Kristol: you may think Palin is sophisticated enough to grasp the high-level fantasies and abstractions that you have devised in your own head to defend the indefensible. But she isn't, buddy. She has a degree in sports journalism from the University of Idaho, and went to several colleges in several years. She thinks Leo Strauss is a brand of jeans. She doesn't have a clue what she's talking about. Remember: she doesn't know what the Bush Doctrine is and heard about the surge "on the news."
This is your lipsticked pitbull, buddy. Own it. And all the immense incuriosity, minimal education, and fact-resistant ambition that comes with it.
Own it indeed. Ignorance and mendacity will be Movement Conservatism's enduring legacy.
Tags: cleaning, Laveranues Coles, Righteous Kill, religion and medicine, Bill Kristol
"It's easy for me to go to Washington and, frankly, be somewhat divorced from the day-to-day challenges people have." -- John McCain, at the ServiceNation Presidential Candidates Forum
That right there is a classic Kinsley Gaffe if I've ever heard one.
Tags: John McCain
To: The Media
Cc: The Blogosphere
Subject: Sarah Fucking Palin
It has now been two weeks since John McCain named Sarah Palin as his running mate, and you have spent seemingly every moment of those two weeks talking about her. We've heard more than we could ever need to know about her family, her background as mayor of West Bumfuck Wasalia Whatever, Alaska, and her idiotic idiosyncratic views on all manner of things. We've been told that she is a Hockey Mom and a barracuda. We've witnessed the creepy spectacle of journalists and supporters who are clearly titillated by her "hotness" and can barely restrain themselves from sharing their no-doubt S&M-tinged fantasies of her. Oh, and we've heard she hunts moose. Got it.
Here's all anyone actually needs to know about Sarah Palin: She's an ignorant, corrupt, unqualified hack with a nasty vindictive streak.
That's it. That's your story. Palin in a nutshell, if you will.
Senator McCain chose this idiot for the entirely unserious purpose of grabbing your attention and, immature twits that you are, you've happily gone along with his shallow gambit. Enough already. There are two campaigns out there for you to cover, and one of them would like to spend the next eight weeks discussing policy issues and figuring out the best course to set for this sorry nation of ours. That's what you need to be covering. Stop obsessing over Governor Snarks-a-lot and do your goddamned jobs.
Tags: Sarah Fucking Palin
Republicans, in their never-ending quest to more fully embrace their inner (and outer) Simpletons, have adopted "Drill, Baby, Drill!" as their official Energy Platform for the 2008 election cycle. This makes perfect sense: It's a prescription even the most ignorant among us can easily grasp; it's a thumb in the eye of Al Gore, the environmental movement, and all the dirty fucking hippies driving their Prii around; and, like all Republican policy prescriptions, it's utter shite on the merits.
Click to embiggen, then right-click and save that graphic so you can have it on hand the next time some Winger douchebag insults your intelligence by asserting that we can drill our way to energy independence. Drilling for more oil is not the solution to America's energy needs. In fact, it's not even a serious part of the solution, except in so much as it placates the knuckledraggers while more serious people get about the business of moving us to a post-oil economy. It's time to get real.
(Shamelessly lifted from Angelos)
Having now been exposed to Sarah Palin's Voice for almost two weeks, all I can say is "Come back, Hillary Clinton's Voice; All is forgiven!"
Palin sounds like a cross between Frances McDormand in Fargo and Tina Fey doing Weekend Update, funneled through a wah-wah pedal and then into a mixing board where they twist the "Irritating" knob all the way up to 11. If I hear her say "Thenks but noo thenks" one more time I might grab a pair of needle-nose pliers and remove my eardrums.
And yes, I realize that criticizing her voice makes me you-know-what. (Hint: starts with "sex", ends with "ist".)
Tags: irritating voices
Please read the following statement:
"John McCain says he's about change too, and so I guess his whole angle is, ‘Watch out George Bush -- except for economic policy, health care policy, tax policy, education policy, foreign policy and Karl Rove-style politics -- we're really gonna shake things up in Washington.' That's not change. That's just calling something the same thing something different. You know you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. You know you can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change, it's still going to stink after eight years. We've had enough of the same old thing." -- Barack Obama in Virginia on Tuesday
If you read the common metaphor "lipstick on a pig" as a sexist attack on Sarah Palin, you failed the test. Please report to the nearest Brain Collection Center, where your sorry hunk of gray matter will be painlessly harvested, cleaned, refurbished, and redistributed to someone who may actually put it to good use.
Tags: Barack Obama, sexism
Just in case you'd forgotten, what with him being absent from baseball this season and therefore far from most of our minds, Curt Schilling is still a bloviating douchebag. Here's ol' Ketchup Sock running his mouth at Jets fans:
"The euphoria in New York is palpable. The Yankees suck this year and they are bitter and mad and making excuses over that. Now they got Tom going down so New York's excited. It's unfortunate, but when you crawl to the top of the pile you will have people trying to knock you down."
I'm curious on two counts here: First, what was the methodology Schilling employed when he surveyed Jets fans to determine their feelings about Brady's injury? Second how does Schilling define the word "top"? To my way of reckoning, "top" does not describe where the Patriots were located following last season.
Oh, and I'm curious about one more thing: Where does this fat, ignorant, carpet-bagging shit-dick -- born in Alaska, raised in Arizona, arrived in the northeast in 2004 -- get off constantly inserting himself in all matters Boston V. New York? I mean, it's one thing to milk The Rivalry™ for all it's worth in an attempt to stay relevant during the Has Been phase of his career, but now Curt Schilling feels qualified to jump into the Patriots Vs. Jets soap opera? Please go away Curt. This is not your affair.
Tags: Curt Schilling
This is quite possibly the best segment the Daily Show has ever done. Samantha Bee, shoving the inconsistency, hypocrisy, and just outright unfeeling, unthinking stupidity of the anti-choice position in the faces of GOP convention attendees. Rock the fuck on, Comedy Central.
(h/t: Litbrit)
Tags: reproductive freedom
Mon - 7:00 AM: Listen up, New York sports writers: Steve Serby's got dibs on Brett Favre's tasty nuts, so the rest of you just back off. "[T]he fearless, improvisational gunslinger strutted his stuff"? Seriously, dude?
Sun - 7:45 PM: If this story turns out to be true then, Patriots fans, my heart goes out to you. Make no mistake: I hate your team, I hate your coach, and I sure as hell hate Tom Brady. But this is no way to start your season. It happened to me twice in a short stretch of years with Testaverde and Pennington. It's wrong, it sucks, and it's just not fucking fair. I'd much rather have beaten the Pats with Brady behind center. Sincerely, my condolences.
Sun - 5:30 PM: Well, that was a stressful beginning to the season. Pennington owned the Jets in the fourth quarter. That pass Lowery batted down at the goal line and the interception by Revis to end the game were all that stood between the Jets and an ignominious 0-1 start at the hands of the mighty Dolphins. And I'll tell you what: The 'Phins won't win a ton of games this season, but Chad will keep them from being a doormat. Any team that looks past them will be in danger of the upset.
OK, let's grade out the Jets:
Passing: (C) The bomb to Cotchery was a thing of beauty. The second TD pass to Stuckey was total luck. The rest of the passing game was unimpressive, to put it mildly. Some of this can be attributed to the lousy pass protection. Our line gave him time in the first quarter, but the remaining three quarters of the game the pocket seemed to be collapsing around Favre on every play. A good deal of the blame, however, lies with #4 himself. Favre seemed out of sync most of the day. He was throwing at guys' knees, holding onto the ball too long; he even straight-up botched a few plays. He needs to study up this week. I can't go a whole season with him winging it.
Rushing: (A) The new-and-improved O-Line may have disappointed in pass protection, but they brought the funk in the running game. TJ was gutting the Fish at will, and he equaled his TD total for last year with a nice outside run into the end zone for the Jets' final score of the game. After an entire season of futility last year, it felt real good to see him get going. Didn't see a whole lot of Leon Washington, but with the way Jones was running, I guess Mangini figured we didn't need him.
Pass Defense: (C) Really, it was a B for the first three quarters and an F- for the fourth quarter. I don't know what to make of that final fifteen minutes. I love Chad, and I know he has the ability to put together a great-looking drive, but shit guys? You played with him for eight years and you let him abuse you like that? Yes, the two key plays in the end zone were great, but the fact is you can't count on that every week, and you can't let a guy dink and dunk you all the way from one 20 to the other.
Run Defense: (A) Ricky Who? If anything about this game gave me hope for the season, it was the stalwart run defense. Hell, I can't remember the last time the Jets were good against the run. They looked solid as a rock today.
Special Teams: (D) This is a serious question: Do most teams not carry a backup place kicker? Or at least make sure someone from some other position can fulfill PK duties in a pinch? Jesus fuck, I could not believe that shit. Oh, and also, I'd really like 2006 Ben Graham back. Is he available?
Sun - 11:45 AM: Allrightey, then. We are off to the Cambridge House brew pub to watch the Jets notch their first win. Enjoy the games and we'll see you later in the day.
Sun - 10:30 AM: Ooooo...Oooooooh!!! Wow, just typing the words "Virtual Couch" there... well, if I might borrow a phrase from Chris Matthews, I think I felt a thrill go up my leg. Welcome, football fans, to opening weekend of the 2008 NFL season, and to the TwoGlasses Virtual Cooooooouuuuuuuuch!
Is this the greatest day on the sports calendar or what? Baseball's opening day is pretty outstanding, and the first day of the NCAA Tournament gets me amped up quite a bit, but I think this edges them out. Football is back, baby. Today starts the mad rush through the shortest regular season in pro sports. Everyone is undefeated for the moment (well, except the Redskins) but right out of the gate every game is important. That's why the NFL kicks so much ass.
As is the tradition around these parts, you are all required to share with us your predictions for your team's fate this year. Here, I'll go first:
The Jets will go 11-5. I'm thinking they lose both games to the Hatriots, who will win the AFC East in a walk, lose at San Diego, and drop maybe a pair of others along the way. Just eyeballing it, I'd say they've got a pretty favorable schedule. Miami twice, Oakland, KC, San Fran, Tennessee -- these are not good teams. Assuming we get something from Favre that's in the ballpark of his 2007 performance, and assuming the re-vamped offensive line is as improved as we've been told it is, double-digit wins should be easily within reach. So put the Jets in the Wild Card. After that, it's anyone's guess. Although I did put a $50-spot on them at 40-1 odds to win the whole thing, if that gives you an idea of my currently optimistic state. Child-like joy, bitchez. You can't understate the importance of child-like joy. (He said, in full-on ironically self-aware mode.)
A little bad news: Tracy and I will not be available to join you for the 1:00 PM games. As will be the case four more times this season, the Jets are on opposite the New England Cheating Douchebags* so we are being forced to head out to an as-yet-undetermined sports bar to see our team kick off the Brett Favre Era. We'll be enCouched sometime shortly after 4:00 PM. In the meantime, I'll be depending on you, dear readers, to keep things lively.
Tags: NFL
This post by Hilzoy, which I am "excerpting" nearly in its entirety, captures something I've never been able to articulate but which is nevertheless so obviously true:
When politicians lie -- and here I mean not just putting the best spin on things, but out and out lying -- they might as well walk up to each and every one of us and say: Hello! I have no respect for the value of your time! You might have other things to do -- work, playing with your kids, taking a long hike in the mountains, whatever -- but I don't care. I'm going to put you in a position where you're going to have to research everything I say, or else just give up on your civic duty. You don't get to assume that my words are, if not exactly true, at least somewhere in the general vicinity of the truth, and decide whether or not to vote for me. If you want to be an informed citizen, you'll have to become obsessive, like hilzoy.
They might as well add: I have no respect for democracy. In a democracy, citizens listen to what each side has to say and decide who to vote for. To work, it requires that what each side says bears some resemblance to the truth. If I cared about democracy, I'd respect those limits -- maybe stretching the truth every now and then, but generally maintaining some sort of relationship between what I say and reality. But guess what? I don't care about democracy! If winning requires that I make things up out of whole cloth and hope that I'm successful enough to frustrate the popular will, then that's what I'll do. Don't like it? Think democracy is a good system, one that we should cherish? That's just too bad.
But Palin has gone beyond this. She is not just telling lies; she's telling lies that have been exposed as lies, and that have gotten a lot of attention. Assuming she does not actually want to lose, she must assume that her audience either doesn't know that she's lying, or doesn't care. In either case, it's deeply cynical, and deeply insulting.
Yes, that's it exactly. I happen to consider the act of lying to be immoral, or at least unethical, in its own right (except in those rare instances where it's done to spare someone completely unnecessary psychological harm, and even then I still tend to frown on it). But when politicians lie to us it's something more than that; it's frustrating in a very concrete, practical way. It makes it harder to be a good citizen.
Tags: lying
I have no idea if UConn football is supposed to be any good this year. They take on Temple at noon, however, and if they're on TV (not always a sure bet) I think I may just watch a little.
On a completely unrelated note, the dew point is at 74° right now, which is the highest I've ever seen it. Coupled with the 94% humidity, that's making for some serious nastiness here in the Shire.
Tags: college football
Over at Cogitamus, Sir Charles lays out some numbers that describe the true awfulness of the Bush economy. Read 'em and weep, people. It's a very ugly picture. Charles follows the roll call of doom up with this observation:
[O]ne could go on and on, I suppose -- declining household income, banks under FDIC control, an increase in the poverty rate, a decline in private health insurance coverage, continued brutal inflation in the health care sector, and an energy policy only a moron or a Saudi prince could love.
And yet, if you watched the Republican convention this week, you would have thought the major issues facing America were the snobbishness of community organizers and the failure to sufficiently honor the former POWs and hockey moms in our midst.
True, dat.
Update: Another must-read for your morning: Hilzoy analyzes the content of McCain and Obama's speeches. Guess which candidate spent most of his speech talking about himself. Guess which one spent the overwhelming majority of his speech talking about the issues facing the country? Need hints? The former is the candidate who has been relentlessly running his mouth about how he puts "country first" and the latter is the guy who has been characterized by many as a superficial, preening prima donna.
Tags: the Bush economy
Yesterday was a big day for Ozzy: His first trip to the vet. We've had this little guy for six weeks now, so it was time to take him to KBAH for his initial "Well Bird" checkup. Oh, and in addition to the routine poking, prodding, weighing and examining entailed in a maintenance visit, we also wanted to get him in there to have a blood feather checked out.
Last week, I'm downstairs and Tracy calls down to me "Honey! I think Ozzy's bleeding!" That's so not something I want to hear about either of the little ones. I drop what I'm doing and run upstairs, where we try to wrestle the bird out of the cage. After finally getting him balled up in a washcloth -- he's still nowhere close to being hand-tame -- we take him into the bedroom, hoping to put him on the bed and get a look at his injury. Nothing doing. He immediately hops away and plummets onto the floor, where he skitters away under the dresser. Ten minutes of dancing involving a terrified parakeet and two mortified humans ensue. At one point he flutters up against the wall and I see a smear of blood appear. Now I'm really losing my shit. There's no way I can get my hands around him, let alone hold him steady enough to examine his wing. We get the bird carrier and coax him into it. Tracy starts calling around to various vets, but it's Sunday on a three-day weekend. The one on-call doctor we get calms us down and tells us to just let him chill out so that the injury to the feather will clot. This we do, and a half hour later we put him back in the cage. For the rest of the day I was up there every fifteen minutes, making sure he was OK. Truly a nerve-wracking experience.
We rolled the cage into the bedroom that night so we could hear more easily if he fell or cried out. The next morning, he seemed none the worse for wear. There was no visible bleeding and he was eating and interacting with Birdstone in his usual way. See, what happens is this: When new feathers ("pin" feathers) come in, they have an active blood supply in the shaft that allows them to grow. That's why they're also called "blood feathers". After they're mature, the blood supply to them shuts off, so it's no big deal if they break or fall out. If they break while they're still blood feathers, however, the bird can lose enough blood that they die. So you can see why we were freaking. And it didn't help that we couldn't even get a look at it.
Yesterday, finally, I got a look at it.
I warned the vet that he wasn't hand-tame and that he couldn't fly at all. Sure enough, the second she cracked the lid of the carrier, Ozzy pops out onto the exam table, over the edge, and thuds onto the floor. She reaches down to get him with a towel. "Ow" I hear her say. Then "OW!" followed by "OW!!!" Seems he had latched onto the palm of her hand with his beak and wouldn't let go. This, she explained, was unusual, even for a scared, defensive, untamed bird. It took her several minutes to wrestle him into a position where she could get a look at him. The whole time, I'm thinking two things: 1. I can't wait to tell Tracy that it's not just us; even the trained professionals can't wrangle the little guy. 2. When I get home, I'm going to give 'Stonie a big kiss and tell her what a sweet, well-behaved bird she is. (Really, her two trips to the vet were nothing like this.)
The vet manages to get his wings spread open and, sure enough, the new flight feather that was coming in is cracked clean in half. It looked like only blood and sinew was holding the end on. She seems hesitant to remove it, but I urge her to do so, worried that it could easily start to bleed and figuring it won't be functional anyhow. Ozzy is still squirming in the towel like a madman. She summons a second vet to assist with the procedure. Vet #2 confidently takes the forceps while vet #1 does her best to keep the Oz man from struggling free. I'm in the corner, facing the wall, expecting the poor bird to shriek when the feather is pulled. "There we go. All set," says vet #2. Phew. Well at least that went easier than expected.
The rest of the exam was uneventful. Good muscle tone, normal heart rate, normal weight. Vet #2 -- who I must say was an FSM-send as she was far more mentally equipped to deal with our challenging little friend than her associate -- clipped his nails and filed his beak a bit. She then departed while vet #1 grabbed a stool sample to run a poop check. She puts Ozzy back in his carrier, towel and all. I notice she seems hesitant about something. After an uncomfortable pause, she says "Um, you can just keep the towel, I guess." At that point, I realize this trained avian veterinarian is actually terrified of our little parakeet. I find this quite funny, but I keep that observation to myself. Popping the lid, I reach in and carefully retrieve the towel for her.
Sixty eight dollars later, I'm headed out to the car with the Ozmeister. His blood feather is history and he's got a clean bill of health. Also, he's quite possibly insane. I'd say we named him well.
Tags: parakeets
First spotted at Angelos' place, then modified by Tracy with an additional fun factor. I'm also adding a new rule (#5).
1. Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2. Bold all the items you've eaten.
3. Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
(4. I've added my own bit - put asterisks after what you must try before you die. - Tracy)
(5. Put a question mark (?) next to the ones you had to look up because you had absolutely no idea what they were.)
(note: if you don't know what something is, go to the VGT post , they have wiki links)
1. Venison (Assuming Venison jerky counts)
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros*** (?)
4. Steak tartare (no way I'm eating raw beef)
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp (It's possible I've had this as I eat all kinds of fish, but I don't specifically remember it.)
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush (I almost crossed this out because I hate eggplant, but I'd give it a taste I suppose.)
11. Calamari (Waaaaaay too chewy.)
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses (?)
17. Black truffle***
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (Huh. Mead is made from honey and saki from rice, so I guess not.)
19. Steamed pork buns***
20. Pistachio ice cream (Love love love love love love)
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries (Picked-off-the-bush fresh? No.)
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese (Not on a bet.)
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper***
27. Dulce de leche (?)
28. Oysters (Gross)
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda ********* (?)
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi (?)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (At the Cigar Bar in NYC, iirc.)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O (I can't believe Tracy's never had Vodka Jell-O.)
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (You would literally have to pay me a million dollars. And even then...)
43. Phaal (When a waiter warns me that something is "the hottest thing on the menu" it's like waving a red cape.)
44. Goat's milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (Macallan 18-yr.)
46. Fugu (?)
47. Chicken tikka masala (Love love love)
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (Does not compare to Dunkin Donuts.)
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi (?)
53. Abalone (Borderline case. "Never consider" is a bit strong, but certainly "have no interest" applies.)
54. Paneer*** (?) (Any cheese that has green in it must be good.)
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle (?)
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV (Also, Beer above 16% ABV))
59. Poutine*** (Saw this on No Reservations the other night. Looks awesome.)
60. Carob chips
61. S'mores
62. Sweetbreads (Hell no.)
63. Kaolin (?)
64. Currywurst*** (?)
65. Durian (?)
66. Frogs' legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis ("And what do you do with it?" "You eat it!" "That's revolting!")
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette (?) (Muscle is for eating. Organs? Not so much.)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini (Caviar might be the most over-rated food in human history.)
73. Louche absinthe******
74. Gjetost, or brunost (?)
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu***
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail (See #53)
79. Lapsang souchong*** (?)
80. Bellini (?)
81. Tom yum ("Hau sou soup!")
82. Eggs Benedict (Favorite breakfast.)
83. Pocky (?)
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant***
85. Kobe beef***
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse (Yeah, right after I have Dog.)
90. Criollo chocolate (?)
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab (Gross. Just gross.)
93. Rose harissa*** (?)
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor***
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake
Tags: memes
Steve Benen links to an article in the L.A. Times discussing the McCain campaign's decision to try -- as Republicans have seemingly done since the dawn of time, or at least Nixon -- to win by exploiting the cultural insecurity of poor, small-town Americans:
ST. PAUL, MINN. -- Speaker after speaker at this week's Republican National Convention defended small towns from the perceived slights of urban elites. They talked of working people, and ridiculed those with the time to become "community organizers." They railed against the media, Hollywood and the Washington cocktail circuit.
Cultural affinities, which President Bush played on heavily to paint 2004 Democratic nominee John F. Kerry as elite and out of touch, are now central to the campaign strategy of GOP presidential nominee John McCain.
..
The most convincing evidence of this development came Wednesday in the star turn by McCain's vice presidential running mate, Sarah Palin, who cast herself as a symbol of small-town values and a mother whose family experiences "the same ups and downs as any other, the same challenges and the same joys."
It is a symbol that will now be pitched to middle-class and blue-collar workers, who make up a large share of undecided voters, including many of the white working-class Democrats in Pennsylvania, Michigan and Ohio who are skeptical of Obama.
These are the voters, GOP strategists say, who may be struggling economically, detest President Bush and oppose the Iraq war -- but still may vote based on a visceral sense of which candidate respects their way of life.
You know, Republicans are scum, and they're going to use whatever cultural wedges they can to stay in power, no matter how destructive they may be in the long run. That is what it is. The thing for me is this: They couldn't exploit rural resentment if it wasn't there in the first place. And that's the part I don't understand. Small-town Americans, rural Americans, Heartland Americans have been getting a sloppy blowjob from politicians and the popular media for my entire life and yet they still can't drop the sneering defensiveness towards big-city, coastal "elites". Aren't these people supposed to be rugged and tough and self-sufficient or some such shit? Aren't they supposed to be more authentic and more grounded? If so, why the hell do they care whether we sorry-ass Blue Staters "respect" them sufficiently?
Here's a strategy for a Democratic sweep in November: Get every small-town American a fucking shrink.
Tags: small town insecurities
So. What did we learn, exactly, from the GOP's four three nights in the Twin Cities?
Well, we learned that Republicans lie. A lot. They lie over and over and over. The lie like the rest of us breathe. ("Barack Obama is going to raise your taxes.") They will happily repeat a lie after it's been exposed as a lie. ("I opposed the Bridge to Nowhere.") They look right at you and lie with a big ol' smile on their face. They lie without consequence and without guilt.
We learned that Republicans are utterly immune to the charge of hypocrisy. I know not why this is. I don't understand how Mitt Romney can rail against "East Coast elites" or how Sarah Fucking Palin can attack Barack Obama for his lack of experience, but there it is. When people say "Oh, the McCain campaign can't attack Obama for X now because they've done X" I just kind of smile and shake my head. Of course they can.
We learned that Republicans can only win elections by dividing us, by setting one group of Americans against another. It is the only play in their playbook. The "Culture War" will never be over until the modern GOP is so thoroughly defeated that they're forced to shift paradigms. So long as keeping us at each other's throats brings voters to the polls, they'll stoke the flames.
We learned that John McCain was a POW and a Prisoner of War. Also, during the war he served in, he was taken prisoner and kept in a prison where he was imprisoned. This is relevant because it's relevant. Make no mistake: It's relevant. Even though John McCain himself hates to talk about it.
We learned that the next eight weeks are going to be butt-fucking-ugly. We're going to hear things from McCain and his dark forces on the campaign trail and in the media that are going to make us want to punch babies in the face for being born in such a retarded and assholish country. We're going to see the race tighten, in all likelihood, and we're going to scream silently in despair, asking "Why, America, WHY?" and it's going to suck, but we're going to have to keep our collective chin up and do what we can and try to believe that on this first Tuesday in November, Hope beats Fear and Smart puts a boot deep up Stupid's rectal cavity.
Of course, I'm sure you realize, "learn" is really the wrong word for most of the preceding. We didn't learn this stuff this week. It was review material. Thank you, Republicans, for helping us brush up on the basics.
Tags: Republican Convention
Happiness? Happiness is having a wife who justifies buying you three bottles of high-end liquor for your fourth anniversary on the grounds that they have flowers on the label and a nice bouquet, and then follows that up by enthusiastically endorsing the idea of going to Buffalo Wild Wings for an NFL Opening Night-themed anniversary dinner.
Tags: NFL, happiness, anniversary bliss
TNR's Franklin Foer on the Republican convention, which he sums up as "Disrespectful, Angry, and Effective":
[I]t's clear where they are headed. They will respond to the Democrats' economic populism with cultural populism. Where Obama talked about "One America", they will run in the polarizing mode of Rove and Atwater. In an election where they don't have much of an economic case, this was their best card to play. I have a sinking feeling that it will work and we're in for an ugly eight weeks.
You can almost hear the GOP Message Mongers in their smoky rooms giggling and saying "C'mon Charlie Brown, kick the football!"
Tags: GOP Convention
Can't let Labor Day go by without taking care of one particular labor of love: Beer blogging! I picked up a singleton of this week's featured brewski, Eel River Brewing IPA, while prowling the aisles at Liquor Depot. Let's see what's what.
The Pour: Depositing Eel River into a tall, frosted glass yields a nice, three-quarter-inch head of sand-colored foam that throws off a mild malty scent. The head has decent staying power, fortified by the strong levels of carbonation in the cloudy, amber body.
The Taste: A big, creamy body is the very first thing I notice taking a swig of this beer. Very pleasant mouth-feel here. Rich and unusually dense for this style. Next in line in the sensory parade is a huge burst of hoppy goodness. Quite bitter, but with hints of floral hops at the outskirts, Eel River packs a satisfying smack on the tongue. The malts here are offering a strong, earthy undercarriage for the dominant hop flavors. I'm getting a little bit of honey and a little bit of grassy wheat, both of which know their place as supporting actors rather than stars. The aftertaste is on the long side, leaving a pronounced tracer of bitterness that stretches the length of the esophagus. In addition, there's a bit of a yeasty feel that settles in under the tongue once each sip heads South. Eel River advertises the ABV at a healthy 7.2%.
The Verdict: IPA lovers take note: This beer is worth your time. Exquisitely well-balanced, full-bodied, and jumping around with enough hops to make it past India and all the way to Australia. An impressive debut from the River of Eels.
Tags: beer
Addressing the story that broke today about Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol being pregnant and, according to the McCain campaign, having made the decision "on her own" to keep the baby, Steve Benen says:
That's nice, but if McCain has his way in office, the choice wouldn't be up to her at all. Roe would be overturned, and reproductive rights would be dramatically curtailed for every woman in America. Indeed, it's not just McCain -- Sarah Palin told Alaskans during her gubernatorial campaign that she wouldn't support abortion rights even if her own daughter had been raped.
So true. And yet it's far more important for progressives to maintain vigilance in their defense of Palin against ostensible sexism from the Obama campaign. Gotta keep our eyes on the ball, after all.
(Oh yes, I'm going to bang this drum until the drumsticks shatter, people.)
Tags: reproductive freedom
Md ∝ Ts - Tb
The mellowness of a given day varies in direct proportion to the time elapsed between arising from bed and showering.
Tags: mellowship
"I just want to note, if only for the record, that in a saner country, the fact that Sarah Palin wants us to teach our children lies rather than biology, and doesn't believe in man-made global warming, should be enough to cost the Republicans the election." -- Ezra Klein, checking in from the Department of Sad Truths
Tags: Sarah Palin
I'm sitting on the throne just now, finally getting around to yesterday's Sunday Courant Commentary section. First thing I see when I flip to the main op-ed page is the headline "Obama Delivers A Clunker" under the byline of one David Broder. I literally barked out a laugh when I read that. I mean, the reactions to Obama's speech that I saw on Friday ranged from "good but uneven" to "masterpiece"; I'm pretty sure not one person I read who wasn't a clearly-identified Republican hack had either the balls or the stupidity to call it a "clunker". But that's David Broder for you. That's why, when someone wants to describe the particular brand of faux-evenhandedness wherein everything a Democrat does somehow falls in a bad light while even the most egregious Republican sins bode positively for them, they call it "Broderism".
This is why we might just lose this thing.
Below Broder's stinking turd is a piece by someone called Nanette Everson entitled "Palin Brings Charisma, Folk-Hero Flair". I decide to skip that one. I am aging, and my insides don't possess the magnificent fortitude they once did. Looking to the top of the editorials section, I see Bob Englehart has drawn an editorial cartoon of Barack Obama reading a history book with his own face on the cover. I can't tell for sure if this is intended in a complimentary fashion or if it's a knock on our candidate's arrogant presumptuousness. Flipping back to the front of the section, I read the first few paragraphs of Kevin Rennie's story on Maverick's upcoming "shotgun wedding" with the party he has so maverickishly defied with his maverick ways. Think I'm exaggerating? The sub-head on the piece reads "Republican Stalwarts Must Swallow Hard And Embrace Renegade As Standard Bearer". Putting the paper down, I return to my newsreader, and the first thing I see is a post by Benen documenting several instances where Sarah Palin was referred to on the Sunday talk shows as - I kid thee not - the "Commander in Chief" of the Alaska National Guard.
This is why we might still lose this thing.
My buddy Salkowitz - a wise man by any blogger's standards - argued with me after the 2006 election that the media would change its tune as the political pendulum swung back towards the Democrats. His take was that the lapdogs in the press always sniff around the feet of those with the power, so as the Dems ascended the Keepers of the Dominant Narrative would re-write the script. I maintained that the media would keep sucking on the GOP's crack pipe, because... because... well, I don't know, really. Because their story is easier to tell? Because they're on the GOP payroll? Or because, like so many of us in other walks of life, they choose the lazy path, the well-worn path, the road they know, the road where Republicans are always tough and brave and Democrats are always intrinsically weak and compromised and risible. Hey, it's a paycheck, and if your story is already written for you why go to the trouble of crafting a new one?
Sorry, Rob, but I fear I was right on this one, much as I would have wished to be wrong.
This is why we could still, against all conceivable logic, lose this thing come November. Because we are social creatures who rely on story-tellers to glue reality together for us into a coherent thread and, save a very few, our storytellers are a complacent, lazy lot, drunk all day on the moonshine the hucksters in the Elephant suits have hooked 'em on, and unwilling to go into rehab. They are why we could lose. They are why America could fail.
Tags: our media sucks