On Sunday, June 8th - a mere month from yesterday - I will be participating in Jim Calhoun's Cancer Challenge Ride. This is an annual event to raise money for both the Carole and Ray Neag Comprehensive Cancer Center at the University of Connecticut Health Center and also the Coaches vs. Cancer foundation. Tracy saw a flier for it at the office gym and suggested that, me being a bad-ass cyclist and all (not), I should sign up for my company's team. So I did. I went right out to the web page, checked the box marked "50-mile (untimed)" and started sending emails to family and friends asking for donations, thereby locking in my commitment.
I could have opted for the 10-mile ride, but that's way too easy. I can ride ten miles in my sleep.
I could have opted for the 25-mile ride, which is right in my sweet spot.
But no, I went with the 50. Despite the fact that the last time I rode 50 miles or more was when Wilde and I rode from Troy, New York to Bennington, Vermont and back. That was twenty years and twice as many pounds ago. Hey, I suppose I could have been really brash and signed up for the 50-mile timed event, but I skipped that on account of I'm not a complete friggin' idiot.
This will be the first time in over thirty years of riding that I've signed up for any sort of cycling event. I'm sort of looking forward to it and sort of dreading it. It could be fun riding with hundreds of other cyclists. Or it could suck. Depends what sort of riders show up. If it's all cardio freaks with toned bodies and day-glow cycling jerseys riding in packs and drafting each other like would-be pros, I'm going to feel a bit out of place. If there are more everyday Joes there, maybe not so much. I just don't want to be the only fat-ass asthmatic lugging my potato-shaped self through the hills of Connecticut and Massachusetts. I don't want to be the last guy crossing that finish line on Iron Horse Boulevard as the sun sets behind the hills.
(This is why I rarely participate in athletic contests. The only person I'm really comfortable competing with athletically is myself.)
As for the ride itself, barring an accident along the way I'm certain I'll be able to complete it. I've been gradually working up to longer and longer rides, with a 35-mile jaunt around Avon Mountain planned for this weekend. I'm getting my cycling legs back. Also, I had clipless pedals installed recently, and I am shocked at what a difference they make. Being able to actually pull on the upstroke is a game-changer for me. It's like I've got a whole other part of my legs I can use now. And, of course, even if this ends up being really, really, really difficult -- it's a pretty hilly course and there's a substantial (750') climb about 9 miles in -- I can always tap into that grim, stubborn determination that in the past has allowed me to push through physical challenges my body has no business meeting. Mind over matter. Ego over muscle.
You can check out the route here on the incredibly awesome MapMyRide.com. (Really, this site is the bomb. I'm addicted to it.)
Then you can go here and help me meet my fundraising goal. (Only $155 more to go!) It's for a good cause, people, and even small donations will be greatly appreciated.
Tags: Jim Calhoun Cancer Challenge Ride
I read this blogmeme at Angelos' place after seeing it first at Mike's. I was actually vaguely relieved that Mike didn't tag me because this seemed too similar to a bunch of other memes I've already done. But then Angelos declared "If you see this, you're tagged." And so, once more unto the memeech!
1) Ten years ago I was...
Still married to my first wife; Living in Oxford, Connecticut upstairs from a cranky old landlord; Commuting 1.5 hours each way to my job at AMS Rating Services where I worked with Fridge coding insurance rating algorithms; Taking a course in Visual Basic 5 which would later help me get a gig at the same company as a "real" software developer, leading eventually to the well-remunerated position I occupy today; Watching the GOP horde building up to their impeachment of William Jefferson Clinton.
2) Five things on today's tomorrow's to-do list:
Go to the gym.
Continue reading Rich Newman's "Introduction to CAB/SCSF", the single best primer on Microsoft's Composite UI Application Block I've found yet.
Weekly package store run.
Take out the trash.
Drink, but not so much as to interfere with the 30-mile bike ride I've got planned for Saturday.
3) Things I'd do if I were a billionaire (shouldn't this specify a number of things?):
Never, ever, ever work again.
Buy a condo in New York City and a house in Key West.
Buy a bar.
Buy Yankees season tickets.
Give a million dollars to these guys.
Take Tracy to dinner at the finest restaurants in the world.
Take up serious mountain climbing.
Buy a sailboat and learn to sail, then sail around the world.
Buy loads and loads of obscenely expensive single-malt Scotch.
Pay off my mother's condo and pay all my nieces and nephews' college tuition.
Fund Fridge's campaign for Joe Lieberman's Senate seat.
Fund a liberal think tank.
Never, ever, ever, ever work again.
4) Three bad habits:
Leaving piles of mail and crap on the stairs to sort through later on.
Nose picking.
"One-click purchase" binges on iTunes.
5) Five places I've lived:
Melrose, Massachussetts.
Troy, New York
Woodbury, Connecticut
Windsor, Connecticut
Weatogue, Connecticut
6) Six jobs I've had in my life:
Delivery person for the weekly Shopper's News.
Grocery cart wrangler.
Kelly temp.
Cellular phone programmer/installer.
Pizza delivery stud.
Software developer.
I tag Tracy, Tart, and the recently-married Kate.
Tags: blogmemes
Bold Prediction: No matter what happens, we're going to wake up tomorrow morning and Hillary Clinton will still be in the race.
Update: Obama picks up a net gain of 12 delegates after cruising in North Carolina and coming within 2 points of the upset in Indiana. Clinton gives another weak-ass speech vowing to march on until Hell freezes over. At this point, Hillary's campaign strategy is starting to look a lot like George Bush's Iraq strategy.
Tags: Democratic primaries
Over at Slate Timothy Noah has a great idea:
Here's a rule I would like every political reporter, campaign official, TV talking head, and politician in the United States to follow. Go ahead and say, if you like, that Hillary Clinton retains a serious chance of winning the Democratic nomination. If you say this, however, you must describe a set of circumstances whereby this could happen. Try not to make it sound like a fairy tale.
We need this rule. We need it because of shit like this. We need it because every moment the media spends fanning the embers of Hillary's dipshit campaign to overturn mathematical and political reality is a moment that we could be using to discuss the comparitive merits of Barack Obama and John McCain.
Tags: Hillary Clinton
Sun - 4:15 PM: Holy shit are the Jazz white.
Sun - 4:10 PM: Ugh. The Lakers are playing the Jazz in the second round? That's terrible. I mean, I hate the Lakers with a passion, but I can't root for the Jazz to beat them. The Jazz were one of the first sports teams I ever hated, and they've still got that punk-ass bitch Jerry Sloan on the bench. Fuck me. Oh well, I'll just have to hope it goes seven games and the two teams beat the shit out of each other so that whoever moves on to the conference finals gets their ass kicked.
Sun - 4:00 PM: The Yankees just beat the Mariners 8-2 to sweep the weekend series and move back over .500. Darrell Rasner, called up to take Phil Hughes' place in the rotation, went six strong innings, giving up two earned runs. More like that, please.
Sun - 3:35 PM: The Celtics just destroyed the Hawks in game 7 of their first-round playoff series, winning 99 to 65 and moving on to face Cleveland. This game was over at halftime as the C's held Atlanta to just 26 points in the first half. Still, as impressive a win as it was, did anyone see this series going the distance in the first place? I had sort of lost track, so when I saw it noted in the Friday sports section that the series was tied up, I was in shock. Boston was not supposed to have any trouble with those guys. And now they get King James. Yikes.
Sun - 3:30 PM: Paging Oddjob: Tracy wants to know if these are weeds or if they're something desirable.
Sun - 12:15 PM: Kennedy sent down. Good luck in Scranton, young man. Get your shit right and we'll see you later in the year.
Sun - 11:50 AM: Wow. Roger Clemens. Wow. Talk about seeing your "reputation" flushed down the toilet. And not a nice toilet like you've got in your house. Clemens' reputation is currently residing in the depths of a porta-potty in the Yankee Stadium parking lot that hasn't been serviced in weeks. Wow, dude.
Sun - 9:15 PM: I'm a little alarmed that this guy is not only one of the Yankees top prospects but also one of my minor league keepers in roto. Because frankly this makes him sound like a bit of a pussy:
Double-A outfielder Jose Tabata, considered one of the organization's top prospects, was suspended for three games last week and considered asking the Yankees for his release before returning to the team.
A 19-year-old from Venezuela, Tabata left last Saturday's game without permission, fleeing the ballpark after striking out in the seventh inning. That led to a three-game suspension.
Tabata is hitting .186 with no home runs and 12 RBI over 26 games for Trenton.
"The expectations of who I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do finally got to me," Tabata told The Trenton Times through a translator. "I made an irrational decision. Maybe it was immaturity, inexperience or just that I didn't know how to handle what was happening. I just kept thinking I am not producing the way I should be and maybe I didn't belong here."
Jesus, kid. Take a Valium. You're in AA ball and the pressure is making you crack? Can't wait to see how you handle the Bronx.
Sat - 4:55 PM: Oh, and Mike Mussina is looking pretty good so far this season. He started out rocky but has now won his last three starts to pull even on the year. Hell, at the moment he looks better than Pettitte. It's funny that I thought he was the weak link in the rotation. Shows what I know.
Sat - 4:50 PM: Well, well, well. Two wins in a row for the Yanks. Looks like Seattle was the cure for what was ailing 'em. Oh and hey: My boy Pete, while live blogging the game, said "Brutal outing for King Felix. He just got the ziggy in the sixth inning after allowing six runs on 12 hits, four of them for extra bases." Um... the "ziggy"? What is?
Sat - 7:40 AM: Abrasnark:
Wang is 22-6 after a loss in his career, winning the last 11 in such situations. He’s now 6-0, 3.00 this season. But keep in mind that he is not an ace.
Please.
Fri - 5:30 PM: At left is our New York Yankees flag. It's a tradition of ours to hang it up each year on the day of the team's opening game. It's also becoming a tradition to take it down some time in May when the team's early struggles -- injuries, sleeping bats, horrible pitching, shitty record -- have made it too depressing to look at. Last year, when the Yanks hit their absolute nadir around the beginning of June, we took the team flag down and replaced it with our Key West flag. From that moment forward they went on to have the best record in baseball. Speculation about sports karma is left as an exercise for the reader.
Anyhow, I'm walking out of the garage today and I see the flag like this, all twisted up, soaking wet, looking like hell. My first thought was to do what I usually do: Untwist it so that it's hanging properly. But then I thought, no, don't. Leave it exactly like that. It's a perfect representation of the state of the Yankees season right now. Why mess with it?
Here's where the New York Yankees are at on May 2nd of this fine season:
Fourth place in the AL East (14-16), three games behind the first-place Devil Rays. Yes, I said "first-place Devil Rays".
Losers of three straight and six of their last eight.
Jorge Posada, one of the best hitting catchers in baseball, is on the DL with a mysterious shoulder ailment. No idea when he'll be back.
Alex Rodriguez, the best player in the game, is on the DL with a strained right quad.
Phil Hughes just went on the DL with a cracked rib and probably won't be back for at least two months. (Given his 9.00 ERA, 2.14 WHIP, and 1-1 K/BB ratio, this could be a blessing in disguise.)
Ian Kennedy, whose ERA and WHIP are slightly better than Hughes at 8.37 and 2.03 but who amazingly has a K/BB ratio of 4-5, might be on his way to Scranton soon.
The team is averaging .0003681 with RISP. (OK, I made that up, the real number is .245, but it sure feels way worse.)
New manager Joe Girardi is in the process of building a rapport with the media that might charitably be described as "gratuitously bitchy, paranoid and off-putting."
Or, to summarize all of that: Good. Times.
Strangely, I'm not on the ledge over any of this. I didn't exactly expect the team to rock the house this year. You can't realistically hope for a 100-win season with two semi-rookie pitchers in your rotation. It'd be nice to see the offense pull their collective head out of their ass, but I'm guessing it's hard to get into a rhythm when your manager has used 25 different lineups in 30 games. It'd also be nice to see Andy Pettitte get back to pitching like Andy Pettitte. Never expected to see him have two shit games in a row. But hey, whatever. To whip out the most over-used phrase in sports, this team is what it is. And despite their difficulties, I'm still content to watch and wait and see what happens.
At least Chien-Ming Wang is having a career year. (We've got to get rid of that guy.)
Tags: baseball
Hillary Clinton, prior to yesterday's Kentucky Derby, implored her supporters to "place a little money on the filly", a reference to a horse named Eight Belles. Hillary wanted people to bet on said horse to win because, well, she's a she, get it? And so's Hillary? So like, the female horse would win her race just like Hillary, in her fevered imaginings, would win the Democratic nomination? Yeah.
Funny story. Funny as in oddly telling, not funny ha-ha. Eight Belles broke both her front ankles towards the end of the race and had to be euthanized. The winning horse? Big Brown.
Make of this what you will.
Tags: horse race politics
Tracy got this one via email and I thought I'd have some fun and inject it into the blogosphere. Simple concept. All your answers must start with the same letter as your name. Here goes:
What is your name? Joe.
A four-letter word: Just. One of my defining characteristics.
A vehicle: Junk.
A boy's name: Jose.
A girl's name: Josephine. One of the ugliest female names ever. Took a male name and added "ine". Stupid.
Alcoholic drink: Jack Daniels. Neat, please. (That means without ice cubes, young'ens.)
An occupation: Jazz musician. A.k.a. purveyor of random notes.
Something you wear: Jockstrap. Not since youth soccer, though.
A celebrity: Joe Santos.
A food: Jumbo Shrimp. Also an oxymoron.
Something found in a bathroom: Jello™-like substance around bathtub drain. Yeah, it's a stretch. You find a bathroom item that starts with "J".
Reason for being late: Job sucks. Don't want to go.
Something you shout: JOBA!!!!!
An animal: Jaguar.
A body part: Joint. Also a recreational item.
You're all tagged. Every last goddamned one of you. And tough schizzle if you don't like it.
Tags: blogmemes
Executive Summary: A damn-near perfect super-hero movie. Halfway through it I was sitting there trying out superlatives to describe what I was seeing. That's how good it was.
Thoughts: I confess: I was never a comics geek. Never really read 'em growing up, so I'm not your go-to guy on issues like "how true was comic-based movie X to the source material". I have no idea if Iron Man will live up to the expectations of fans of the comic. I just know that, as super-hero action movies go, I thought it was fantastic. I've been jonesing for this movie for weeks - usually a recipe for a let-down - and it actually managed to exceed my expectations.
If you've read any reviews of this movie (and if you haven't, start here) then you've probably heard glowing praise for Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal of weapons mogul-turned-defender of the little guy Tony Stark. The critics are not wrong. He was absolutely superb. Pitch perfect. Of course, for Downey, portraying a dipshit ne'er-do-well playboy trying to turn around and redeem himself might not technically be "acting", but whatever. He was masterful at executing the turnaround and manifesting the right emotional vector. When he sees the dickhead warlord who was his former captor fucking up the lives of all the innocent villagers of Somewhereinthemiddleeastistan, you believe he's feeling rage. And as the Suit is assembled around him in its final form for the first time, you feel a chill, and maybe a little excitement coursing through your body. (Or maybe that's just me.) If action movies could win acting awards, Downey would be taking home some hardware for this next year.
But this isn't a one-man show. Far from it. Also outstanding in his first role (that I know of) as a villain was Jeff Bridges. You remember him as "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski, right? Well try to picture a character that is the exact opposite of that. Bridges' portrayal of Obadiah Stane, Stark's partner in the weapons business, is believably scary. He's got the Man with No Morals bit down with precision. You actually believe he's going to wax Pepper Potts, and that's something because I honestly cannot imagine the evilest of evil motherfuckers wanting to harm a hair on Gwyneth Paltrow's swoon-inducingly beautiful character's head. Aww yeeeahh, people, Gwynenth is back in the house, reminding me of exactly why I used to think she was the hottest woman on the planet. (She's now the second-hottest. Yes, behind Tracy.) Paltrow, sporting strawberry-blonde locks, gets a fair amount of screen time as Tony's faithful assistant -slash- possible love interest. (No spoilers; See the movie and find out for yourself.)
The pacing of this film is perfect. It's a solid hour of build-up before Stark perfects the Suit and takes it for a test drive, and that time is well spent. His initial capture and detention by the vaguely Islamist Bad Guys, where he first comes up with the idea for his Iron Garb and where he perfects the power source that will help him realize his vision, is very well done. The transitional phase after he escapes and returns home a changed man also comes off just right. These segments tease the viewer, building you up in your seat for the inevitable Moment of Awesomeness. That moment comes when Stark flies his bad self over to Afghaniwherever and wrecks the terrorists' shit. (Come on now; that was not a spoiler.) I swear, I was damned near levitating in my seat by the time that scene hit. I haven't been that giddy since Neo first got his badass on in The Matrix. My only complaint - and it's a small one - is that there wasn't at least one more Iron Man being Iron Man scene like that before the showdown/denoument between Stark and Stane. But hey, that's what sequels are for, no?
As to the special effects, they too were spot on. I don't know what the CGI guys did this time around, but I felt like I was watching a guy in a kick-ass cybernetic exoskeleton as opposed to, let's say, a pretty cool but obviously not real computer-graphic rendering of a guy in a kick-ass cybernetic exoskeleton. If you know what I mean.
Money Quote: "Give me a Scotch, I'm starving."
Bottom Line: Drop whatever you're doing and Go See This Movie.
Rating: 
There comes a time on Saturday morning where you have to acknowledge the truth. No, you will not be going out on your bike. (It's 45° and wet.) No, you won't be getting chores done. No, you won't be accomplishing much of anything. What you'll be doing is sitting in front of your computer, staring somewhat vacantly at your newsreader waiting for brain candy to show up, maybe listening to Twisted Sister on iTunes, maybe drinking a humongous mug of coffee Mexicano*. And by this time it should be clear that by "you" I mean "me". So yeah, I can't see no reason not to crank up the toaster and smoke up some Slices of Toast!
Def Leppard was the musical guest on the Dancing With The Stars results show this past Tuesday. OK, fine, let's get this over with first: DWTS is one of the most entertaining shows on television. It is outstanding. Ballroom dancing is one of the most spellbinding physical endeavors humankind has ever invented. And it's a ton of fun to watch amateurs attempt to master it. And if you disagree with any of that then, well, you're just stupid. There. That's over with. Moving on.
Like I said, Def Leppard was the musical guest on the Dancing With The Stars results show this past Tuesday. I loves me the Leppard a lot. They are easily one of the best Hair Metal bands ever, and that's saying a lot since Hair Metal stands at the apogee of music. But there are sins you just don't commit in music, and sadly, Def Leppard committed the worst of them on Tuesday.
The band's first number was - predictably for a dance show - Pour Some Sugar on Me. Here's how it went:
0.2 seconds: "Wow, Joe Elliot's voice sounds great for his age."
0.5 seconds: "Damn, that's some great production for a live television performance."
1.0 seconds: "HOLY FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! They're LIP SYNCHING!!!!"
How do you do that? As a musician, how do you lip synch and ever look in a mirror again?
And guys, really. There are Aborigines in the Australian desert who have heard the studio version of Pour Some Sugar on Me so often that they even think it's tired. And you think you're going to slide that past an American television audience? Like we're not going to recognize it? Please. Just... don't do that again. You're harshing my metal buzz.
While we're on the subject of music, I need to call your attention to something truly horrible that you may not be aware of: The dance-club-ification of non-dance songs.
My company recently opened up a gym at the office, and Tracy and I have been working out there regularly. Nice place. Nothing like that "new Gym" feeling - all the shiny new equipment and whatnot. The staff is great too. Incredibly friendly and helpful. Also, it's never crowded. So yes, New Gym = All Good.
Except for one fucking thing. The music.
Now, I wears me iPod when I work out solo. Got a great playlist that's all heavy metal and angry hard rock. Perfect for pumping the ironses. But on the days when Tracy is with me I shun the headphones so we can be sociable. And on those days I am exposed to what could best be described as "earscrement". Terrible Gym Music. You know what I'm talking about. Horrid garbage that young people who go clubbing like to pollute their brains with. I expect that. I'm used to it. I know it's coming and I deal. I'm ready. Or so I thought.
This "new thing" I'm hearing at the gym is a giant step in the Hellish Pit of Despair direction. You know these songs: Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, Bad Day by Daniel Powter, Hey There Delilah by the Plain White Tees. All good songs, in my opinion, and fuck you very much for disagreeing. But now imagine them as dance songs. The vocals sped up a little and that irritatingly monotonous fucking uniform THUMP-THUMP-THUMP dance club beat behind them. Do you want to puncture your ear drums? You know you do. That is what they play at our new gym. Every goddamned day they've got this mix that is essentially the Casey Kasem American Top 20 remixed as shitty fucking dance songs. I don't know where they got it from and I don't know how or why they imagined their corporate insurance worker clientele would want to be exposed to it. I just know it sucks bigger balls than anything I've ever heard before in my entire life. It is the Death of Music. It is the Negation of All That Is Good in the Ear. I don't know who is responsible for this wanton degradation of otherwise enjoyable music, but if harm were to come to them I would not feel too terrible about it.
Tags: the perils of booze, Def Leppard, earscrement
"The great divide in this country is not by race or even income, it's by those who think they are better than everyone else and think they should play by a different set of rules... In West Virginia and Arkansas, we know that when we see it." -- Bill Clinton, pandering on the stump in West Virginia
It is getting to the point where I find myself horrified that I spent so much time defending the Clintons when this man was in office. It's not that the right-wing attacks on them weren't an obscene perversion of our political system; they were. It's just that I cannot believe how quickly they -- Hillary, Bill, and their whole gang of sychophants* -- turned around and started playing the same game. I feel utterly betrayed.
Do me a favor, Big Dog. Pretend I'm you and you're Monica Lewinsky.
You're a Rhodes Scholar, you motherfucking duplicitous asshole. You, of all people, should not be playing the "elitist" card. Aside from the fact that it's yet another goddamned right-wing meme that's been used agaisnt our party for most of my life, it's just plain bullshit. Being smart, being informed, being open-minded - these are bad things for our country and our party? I'm thinking you did inhale after all. Hey, no problem though. By all means, you go right ahead and shore up the Stupid Poor White vote, which at this point is your wife's best chance to drag this process out all the way to Hell and back. Because as you've both shown over the last two months, it's not about ideas, it's not about process or fairness, and it certainly isn't about defeating the goddamned right wing. No, it's all about You.
Tags: fuck you Bill Clinton
"Nobody ever mentions the weather can
make or break your day" - Oasis - "Hello"
Dear Weekend Weather: Fuck you too. No, seriously: Fuck. You.
I've been eyeing this weekend's weather forecast since Monday. I'm kinda desperate to get out on my bike as I've got a 50-mile cancer fundraising ride coming up early next month (details later - yes, I'll be hitting you up for contributions) and I'm nowhere near ready for it. I got shut out last weekend by weather and social commitments, but I was feeling up-beat about this weekend. According to the forecast on Monday, this Saturday looked like solid cycling weather - highs in the upper sixties and mostly sunny. Perfect conditions to head out for a 30+ mile ride while Tracy was at work. That plan started looking more and more dubious as the week progressed, however. Our recent streak of craptacular weather just kept grinding on, and the weekend prognosis kept getting worse. By Wednesday the forecast called for highs in the lower sixties and mostly cloudy. And now that Friday's rolled around, that's been revised to mid fifties and fucking rain.
(sigh)
First we get June weather in mid-April, and now we're getting early March weather at the start of May.
Right. Got it. Makes perfect sense.
All the clichés you've heard about the weather here in New England, people? They are absolutely true.
Tags: shitty weather
Hey everyone! Happy Mission Accomplished Day! That's right, today is the fifth anniversary of the day George W. Bush was flown in a navy fighter jet to the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln, which had been forced to wait offshore so that he could fly to it. It's the fifth anniversary of the day he strode across that carrier deck in a flight suit equipped with a codpiece several times larger than the job of protecting his little pin dick required, giving Chris Matthews a boner in the process. And, of course, it's the fifth anniversary of the day our president declared that "major combat operations" in Iraq were over*.
Five years. My, how time flies.
Or doesn't, when your country is stuck in terrible, pointless, and endless war that your illegitimate fuckhead president dragged you into for no goddamned good reason.
Tags: Iraq, George Bush
A man went to see his doctor.
"You need to stop masturbating," the doctor said.
The man asked, "Why?"
The doctor replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
(h/t: Comedy Central.)
Tags: humor, self pleasure
"Love of God and compassion and empathy leads you to a very glorious place, and science leads you to killing people." -- Ben Stein, in an interview with the Trinity Broadcasting Network
I've long known what a piece of work Stein was, but his recent re-surfacing in support of his crockumentary* Expelled has managed to lower my opinion of him to heretofore unplumbed depths. Click through on the link to sample some of Stein's other deranged ramblings. See him flaunt his third-grade comprehension of natural selection. (The theory of evolution describes an impersonal set of natural processes; "it" doesn't make moral judgements or offer exhortations to "stamp out" particular species, dumbfuck.) See him ask why "Darwinism" doesn't explain completely unrelated subjects like physics and thermodynamics and astronomy. (Um...?) See him suggest that since German scientists participated in the Holocaust we should, apparently, never listen to scientists anymore, ever again, about anything. (It seems that in addition to most scientific laws Mr. Stein is also ignorant of Godwin's law.)
On a personal level, I find it deeply infuriating that this ignorant turd can leverage his third-rate brand of celebrity to insert himself into discussions that are so clearly beyond his ken. On the other hand, from a tactical standpoint, when the guy spouts criminally clueless shit like this it has to discredit the movement he purports to speak for.
Quick, someone get him a better booking agent...
Tags: Ben Stein, logic, science versus unreason, people who say despicable things
It takes me longer to shut down my computer and walk to the front door of my building than it does for Tracy to drive the two miles from her office to mine.
Tags: time and distance
When the Reverend Wright thing first blew up early last month, my take was that 1.) I didn't really see the relevance of Wright's statements to Obama's campaign, and 2.) I didn't find his statements all that controversial in any event. After Obama's masterful Philadelphia speech on race -- a speech in which he bent over backwards to let Wright off the hook in a way that preserved his reputation -- I really hoped the whole thing would go away. And, despite Hillary's Scaife-assisted efforts, it sorta did.
Until this past weekend when, of course, Wright decided to charge back into the spotlight.
Now, no one can truly know the Reverend's motivations. Maybe he's just trying to shake his newfound "pariah" status. Maybe he feels slighted or misunderstood. But given the way he upped the ante with his latest round of statements -- casually praising Farrakhan, tossing around the tinfoil-hat theory that the government invented AIDS to kill off African Americans, and imputing less-than-sincere motivations to Senator Obama for keeping him at arm's length -- it's understandable that people are starting to wonder if he's not deliberately sabotaging Obama's campaign. Because if he's not, then he's got to be one of the most politically-maladroit, timing-impaired public figures to ever walk the Earth.
In any event, the good news is that Obama is on the case:
(CNN) -- Sen. Barack Obama said he is "outraged" by comments his former minister, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, made Monday at the National Press Club and "saddened by the spectacle."
Sen. Barack Obama on Tuesday denounced comments made by the Rev. Jeremiah Wright.
"I have been a member of Trinity Church since 1992. I have known Rev. Wright for almost 20 years," he said at a news conference in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. "The person I saw yesterday is not the person I met 20 years ago."
Obama said he is outraged by Wright's remarks that seemed to suggest the U.S. government might be responsible for the spread of AIDS in the black community, and his equation of some American wartime efforts with terrorism.
"What particularly angered me was his suggestion somehow that my previous denunciation of his remarks were somehow political posturing," said Obama, who added that Wright had shown "little regard for me" and seemed more concerned with "taking center stage."
This is a strong response. Whether it will be strong enough to placate the media, the Clinton campaign, and the Winger horde -- my guesses: Not unless there's an outbreak of shark attacks; Not unless Hillary comes down with a case of classiness; Not unless Hell freezes over -- remains to be seen. Regardless, it's the kind of definitive, "cut-the-cord" rhetoric that Obama needs to get on record with if, as now seems clear, Wright himself is going to mount an effort to remain in the spotlight.
Update: Steve Benen - When Obama Gets Pissed:
Six weeks ago, Obama went out of his way not to throw Wright under the bus. It was a classy, risky move. But today was a high-profile falling out between the senator and the former pastor who has dogged his campaign for far too long. Wright’s remarks in DC yesterday were simply too much for Obama to bear, and he felt compelled to say so.
Update: Oh, and I don't care what anyone else says - not even you, Barack - it's "duh-VICE-ive", not "dih-VISS-ive".
Tags: Barack Obama, Reverend Wright
In the history of humankind, has a generation ever had their ass kissed as systematically as Baby Boomers have? I submit that the answer is "no", and as evidence I point you towards your televisions, where you can routinely see commercial after commercial stroking Boomer Ego in a quest to part America's most oversized generation from their dollars. An example: Just For Men hair color has an ad out now that begins with a voice-over saying "The generation that swore it would never grow up... didn't." The music in the background is Cream's Sunshine Of Your Love, and the people in the foreground are happy Boomers frolicking in the surf and whatnot. (No, it's no problem, I'll wait while you finish vomiting.) Um, Just For Men? Here's a free clue: The Baby Boom generation did, in point of fact, grow up. They got jobs, bought houses, and had children. Many of them are now reaching retirement age, and you know what that means? It means they're fucking OLD. Yeah, that's right, I said it: OLD. Old old old old OLD. O to the L to the fucking D as in "Deal with it". No longer young. Old. Aged. Wrinkly and quite possibly infirm. Knock knock knockin' on Heaven's door. OLD. Why did this horrible fate befall them? Because they didn't die yet, and like every generation of homo sapiens that came before them, those were the two options they had on the table: Get old or get dead. They got old. And good for them. I hope they enjoy their golden years (can't spell "golden" without "old"); I really do. But I would like it very much if we could dispense with these sloppy rimjobs that feed and nourish their "Oh we're so fucking revolutionary and awesome and different" narcissistic streak.
Tags: Boomers
We've been taking the bird for showers on the weekends for about a month now. She's got her own perch that we bought, a suction-cup affair that folds up and away when not in use. Birdstone has seemed to enjoy her forays into the world of wetness up to this point, but today was a bit of a milestone: Standing on my hand as I turned into the water, she walked into and through the stream, arching her tiny head up into the spray and getting thoroughly drenched. As with all things she does, it was ridiculously cute. So cute it should be against the law. Hopefully the water helped out with her still-ongoing moulting. You probably can't make it out from this picture, but she's got at least half a dozen pin feathers on her tiny little noggin' and her first moult shows no signs of slowing down. Tracy is -- I kid you not -- collecting all of her discarded feathers in a plastic baggie. When she does this, I tease the tiny one by telling her "Mommie's going to make a new bird with a sunnier disposition." I can't tell if this has any impact, but I can at least report that she's been unusually agreeable today.
Tags: parakeet
Man, there's nothing like a thirty-mile bike ride to kick off your Saturday. Nothing like getting out there and cranking it out, getting sweaty and loose and making that heart pump. It's absolutely exhilarating. I feel all... Oh, wait a second. I didn't actually go for the ride I'd planned for this morning. Because, after a week of sunny, seventy-degree days, Saturday morning rolled around and it was fucking fifty, overcast, and drizzly. Stupid weather, fucking with my privilege.
So here I am instead sitting at the computer sucking down my second coffee Mexicano, watching my bird play with her new toy and waiting for my mother to arrive. She's taking Tracy and me out to dinner tonight at Max's Oyster Bar in West Hartford, which is pretty goddamned awesome of her, since Max's is on the slightly pricey side (but worth every penny, particularly if said pennies are someone else's). I envision a weekend that revolves around food and drink and entertainment -- which is to say "the usual" for Clan Toast -- and that being the case I figure that any blogging that gets done will take the form of... Slices of Toast!
Try to contain your excitement.
I have a love/hate relationship with noise. Loud music? Sure, sign me up. (As long as it doesn't suck.) Baby crying? Put a pacifier in that shit. Parakeet ack-ack-acking and going crazy? Love it. Dishwasher that sounds like a garbage disposal with a spoon stuck in it? Not a fan.
That last noisy example is what Tracy and I have been putting up with for the last month and some. The Kitchenaid washer that came with the house, despite being only seven years old, shit the bed on us. Or perhaps I should say it was in the process of shitting the bed. For whatever reason, it went from being relatively quiet and effective to being jackhammer loud and food-grit-depositingly ineffective over the last half year or so. Go figure.
We did the "Repair or Replace" dance this week, and after receiving a couple of quotes in the $350-$400 range to come out and replace the failing motor assembly we said, frak it, let's just buy a new one. And so to Sears we went on Monday and purchased a new Kenmore. Consumer Reports rated it a Best Buy, and so far I have to agree. I did a partial load on Thursday after the dudes came to install it and, lo and behold, clean motherfuckin' wine glasses! I haven't seen a truly clean glass come out of a dishwasher since before my last birthday. I was tickled. Oh, and it's quiet, people. The loudest sound that emanates from it is the swishing and swashing of the water inside. Upstairs here in the office you can't hear a sound from it. We likey the no sound from the dishwasher. Yes we do. And it's black, so it matches our fridge.
(Younger people out there, here's a truth about middle age: Nice appliances will be something that bring you immense pleasure. Mock me if you will, but you're going to be me someday, composing paeans to some utterly banal fixture in your life. And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful Wife. And you may ask yourself - well...how did I get here?)
Quote of the Sunday Morning OnDemand cable watching: "I bet I can prove to you that Bush wasn't behind 9-11. You know how? It worked." - Bill Maher.
Kevin Drum gets cranky about something that cranks the shit out of me on a regular basis:
There are lots of places where it's natural to stop and ponder which direction you want to go next. These places include the immediate vicinities of doorways, escalators, airport jetways, elevators, etc. However, these are also the places where, if you stop to ponder your options, you're going to automatically be in everyone else's way. So how about if we all learn to take a few steps first and then think about where we want to go next? Deal?
Deal.
Tags: cycling, appliances, Bill Maher
Sun - 4:00 PM: Chien-Ming Wang was dominant today, pitching 7 shutout innings, and Melky Cabrera knocked a solo homer out of the park to give the Yankees a 1-0 victory over the Indians. Wang is now 5-0 on the season. Clearly, the Yankees need to get rid of this guy -- who will never be more than a "decent" pitcher -- as soon as humanly possible.
Sun - 11:45 AM: For those keeping score at home, the Yankees are 0-2 in their long-weekend series against Cleveland. Yesterday they flushed Ian Kennedy's first decent start of the year, giving up a run in the bottom of the ninth to let the Indians steal a tie game away. The team is now exactly one game better than they were last year at this time. Awesome, guys. Keep up the great fucking work.
Sun - 10:00 AM: Pete chronicles the Pope's effect on the game:
No divine intervention: The Padres, Cardinals and Angels were 4-5 during Pope Benedict XVI's trip to the United States. But Ryan Church of the Mets was 5 for 12 with four runs scored over the three days. Yankees prospect Ryan Pope, a pitcher with Single-A Tampa, allowed one run over five innings the day after the Pontiff left.
Sun - 9:40 AM: "Cranky" is not a desirable characteristic in a manager. Just sayin', Joe.
Sat - 11:45 AM: From the department of Quotes You Don't Want To Hear: "Farnsy is going to have to give us important outs." Yankees manager Joe Girardi, on the news that Brian Bruney is done for the year.
Sat - 8:00 AM: So Andy Pettitte gives my optimism the finger and loses the one game out of this series I figured there was absolutely no way we'd lose. Awesome.
Fri - 7:58 PM: I can't blame Indians fans for booing Pettitte there. I don't mind an honest pickoff attempt at first base, but when a pitcher throws a leisurely toss to first against a runner who has at most a six-foot lead, that's fucking annoying. And when he does it five times out of six possible pitches? That's really fucking annoying. Stop fucking around and pitch, dude.
Fri - 7:37 PM: Paul Byrd has the Ugliest Face in the Majors.
Fri - 6:00 PM: Well, last night sure did suck. The Yankees finally had some momentum going, taking a three-game winning streak into the series finale at Chicago with a chance to sweep the White Sox and make it four in a row. Phil Hughes looked sharp (finally!) to start things off, working two scoreless innings as the Yankees took a 3-0 lead. And then, rain. The game was delayed for almost an hour, and when they came back Girardi decided it was too risky to put Hughes back in after such a long wait. Instead he went with Ross Ohlendorf, who proceeded to give up five runs in the fourth inning. Sweet. Finally, to top it off, the untouchable Joba Chamberlain got touched for the winning run in the bottom of the ninth, taking his first loss in the majors. Oh, and did I mention that this was Hughes' sole start of the week, and that I had him going in my head-to-head league? No? Well I've mentioned it now, so there you go.
(sigh)
Oh well. Tonight the team heads to Cleveland where they'll play four against the Tribe. The pitching matchups, courtesy of my man Pete:
Tonight: LHP Andy Pettitte (3-1, 2.45) vs. RHP Paul Byrd (0-2, 4.43), 7:05, Channel 9.
Tomorrow: RHP Ian Kennedy (0-2, 9.64) vs. LHP Jeremy Sowers (0-0, 0.00), 3:55, FOX.
Sunday: RHP Chien-Ming Wang (4-0, 3.94) vs. LHP C.C. Sabathia (1-3, 10.13), 1:05, YES, TBS.
Monday: RHP Mike Mussina (2-3, 4.94) vs. LHP Aaron Laffey (0-0, 0.00), 7:05, YES, ESPN.
I know this is crazy to say, but when I first looked at that, I saw four wins. Pettitte should outpitch Byrd easily. Sabathia has been an absolute mess to start the season, while Wang's been outstanding in all but one start. Sowers and Laffey are both triple-A call-ups. The Yankees have been hitting the ball well this past week, and if that continues I see no reason why they shouldn't win this series.
One bit of bad news: Looks like Brian Bruney v2.0 might be getting recalled. Bruney has a torn ligament in his foot that needs surgery, and he could be lost for the year. Unlike Bruney v1.0, which was frankly kinda buggy, the new and improved Bruney was sporting a 1.59 ERA and looked like he could be the main man for the 7th inning bridge to JobaMo. Now that task will fall to LaTroy Hawkins (sketchy) and He Who Must Not Be Named. Just spiffy.
So that's the view from Yankeeland. How's your team doing? What's going on out there?
Tags: baseball
Had to share this picture with you. I was just browsing this incredible image gallery that NASA has, and I ran across this picture of hurricane Ivan. It's absolutely breathtaking, no? Talk about the awesome power of nature. Deeply moving.
OK but here's the really cool part (those of you who know this story can see this coming): That picture was taken on Saturday, September 11th, 2004, which means that Tracy and I were pretty much directly underneath that bad Mo-Fo. To be really precise, we were just northwest of the eye wall, sitting on the deck of our honeymoon suite at the Sandals in Negril, Jamaica. Had the French doors open to the, um, "breeze", a couple of mimosas in hand, watching the palm trees with their trunks blown over almost horizontal. Good times. (And we later got a free week in the Bahamas for our trouble.)
I think I'll be keeping this as my desktop background for some time.
Tags: hurricane Ivan
I just walked by the television at the entrance to our company cafeteria and CNN Headline News did not have their "BREAKING NEWS" banner splashed across the bottom of the screen. By their recent standards, I think that actually qualifies as "BREAKING NEWS".
Tags: CNN
Hillary Clinton emerged from her hole in Pennsylvania yesterday, looked around, and saw her shadow of a chance at victory. Sorry, folks; looks like six more weeks of primary season.
Tags: Hillary Clinton, Groundhog Campaign
This little bit of news put a smile on my face:
WASHINGTON - President Bush has set a record he'd presumably prefer to avoid: the highest disapproval rating of any president in the 70-year history of the Gallup Poll.
In a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll taken Friday through Sunday, 28% of Americans approve of the job Bush is doing; 69% disapprove. The approval rating matches the low point of his presidency, and the disapproval sets a new high for any president since Franklin Roosevelt.
The previous record of 67% was reached by Harry Truman in January 1952, when the United States was enmeshed in the Korean War.
Oh, don't feel bad, George. We only hate you because you suck so much.
Tags: George Bush
I just picked up an egg that was still warm from a chicken sitting on it. Actually, I picked up two dozen of them. I drove up to Flamig Farm after dropping Tracy off at work this morning to do an egg run, figuring that since they're usually running low by mid-afternoon I'd beat the rush. Instead, I got there before the daily egg harvest had been collected, sorted and brought down to the store. Farmer Nevin (I presume) informed me of this fact as I was walking up the path from the parking lot. He then said "You're welcome to go into the coop and get them yourself." "Seriously?" I responded. "Sure. Just go on in. They won't bite. You should find plenty of eggs in the nests against the wall."
Into the coop I went, wading through a sea of several hundred Rhode Island Reds. I got to the double-decker row of nests and started looking in the empty ones, not wanting to disturb the chickens that were still sitting in the others. The first few nests were empty (I felt around inside to be sure) but as I continued down the row, birds meandering around my legs clucking and br-br-brawking, I finally spied an egg. When I picked it up and discovered that it was still quite warm from the body heat of its recently-departed producer, a little thrill ran through me. I was gathering up our eggs -- we eat eggs at least two or three times a week, most of them from this farm -- right at the source, mingling with the chickens that delivered them. Pretty cool.
By the time I was on my second dozen, I'd gotten bolder, coaxing the chickens in their nests to stand up so I could see what they were hiding. They were mostly cooperative, although a few gave me the stink eye and one gave me a little feint with her beak. After about ten minutes I'd gathered my bounty and was ready to depart. I said thanks to the chickens and headed out. Sadly, the farmer had disappeared to attend to other matters. Next time I run into him I'll have to thank him as well. It's not every day you stumble into a wholly unexpected new experience. How serendipitious that it should happen on Earth Day.
Tags: eggs
I like Earth. I really do. Got a bit of a soft spot for it. Granted, it doesn't have any big pretty rings and it's only got the one moon, but it's got a certain kind of atmosphere. There's something so, I dunno, life supporting about it. Really nice. So happy Earth Day, Earth. Props to you.
Tracy and I celebrated Earth Day in true crunchy style by taking our first hike of the season. (Although, sadly, I forgot to bring my funky wizard-esque walking stick that I bought at King Richard's Faire last year, which would have kicked the crunch into the stratosphere.) We tackled the towering peak of West Mountain. From the trail head - which is about a four mile drive from our house - we climbed a grueling 275 vertical feet up to the peak pictured at left which sits 675 feet above sea level. (Next up: K2.) Seriously, though, it was a beautiful day and we had a great hike. (Except for the bugs, which were on me like I was Joba Chamberlain.) Tracy was a trooper. I gave her the say-so on when we would turn around, but despite being a little out of breath a few times she kept on all the way to the top. And now, we are back home on the couch, our asses properly kicked, feeling relaxed and happy, rewarding ourselves with some vino. Good times.
Update: Apparently, today, Tuesday, April 22nd, is Earth Day. I swear I saw a sign either at work or in town indicating Earth Day events this past Saturday. Anyhow, my bad. (Of course, I haven't posted since Saturday anyhow, so my Earth Day post is still at the top, so I'm all good, right?)
Tags: Earth Day
Mon - 6:35 AM: Peter Abraham, on the Pope's departure from Yankee Stadium: "My understanding is the Pope left a note on Joe Girardi's desk telling him not to pitch to Manny Ramirez with first base open."
Sat - 9:50 PM: Men, I hope you're protecting your prostates.
Sat - 9:01 PM: I think the Yankees should give Giuseppe Franco a spot in the rotation.
Sat - 9:00 PM: Another crappy start from one of our young pitchers. Another night of ice cold Yankee bats. Looking forward to leaving Baltimore.
Sat - 12:30 PM: In case you missed it, the steroid-dealing mystery trainer that Jose Canseco claims he introduced A-Rod to has surfaced. A-Rod did train with him at one time, but they both deny steroids ever entered into the equation. So that's that, right? Canseco can finally crawl back under his rock for good? (sigh) Yeah, I very much doubt that as well.
Sat - 12:00 PM: .500 after three weeks? Blah. Oh, and Moose, Retirement called. It wanted to know when it could expect you.
Tags: baseball
Me: Hey, quick question: You guys don't have any problem with tank tops, do you?
Staff Person: Nope, as long as they don't show any bare midriff.
Me: (pause) (smirk) Heh. Ha ha. HA HA HA HA! Ha. OK. Yah, I don't think that will be a problem.
Tags: gym etiquette
Our parakeet ate sprouts yesterday. This is very exciting. Parakeets are supposed to eat a varied and balanced diet but they're notoriously picky and it's hard to get them to take to a new food. We've tried grapes, lettuce, apple, and egg and she's ignored all of them. Tracy had read that sprouts were a good food option, however, and so we tried them yesterday. Came home in the evening and they were completely gone. Almost couldn't believe it. Figured maybe she hid them while we were out. But nope, I witnessed live sprout eating this morning with my own eyes. It's a milestone, I tell ya. Our little bird's growing up. I think I'm getting verklempt...
Tags: parakeet
The post-debate reviews are in and, once again, the big loser is the faux-journalist bobbleheads running the circus. Greg Mitchell at Editor & Publisher breaks it down:
In perhaps the most embarrassing performance by the media in a major presidential debate in years, ABC News hosts Charles Gibson and George Stephanopolous focused mainly on trivial issues as Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama faced off in Philadelphia.
Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the health care and mortgage crises, the overall state of the economy and dozens of other pressing issues had to wait for their few moments in the sun as Obama was pressed to explain his recent "bitter" gaffe and relationship with Rev. Wright (seemingly a dead issue) and not wearing a flag pin while Clinton had to answer again for her Bosnia trip exaggerations.
Then it was back to Obama to defend his slim association with a former '60s radical -- a question that came out of rightwing talk radio and Sean Hannity on TV, but delivered by former Bill Clinton aide Stephanopolous. This approach led to a claim that Clinton's husband pardoned two other '60s radicals. And so on.
Yep. And so on.
The single most amazing thing about the proceedings was the way that the questions -- particularly those lobbed by Gibson -- seemed as if they'd been written by the guys at RedState.org while on a peyote binge. Seriously, folks, if this is the tone and tenor that the media is going to bring to the general election, we are fuh-huh-huh-huh-hucked.
Update: Steve Benen: Worst. Debate. Ever.
Tags: Democratic debate
11:18 PM: Yankees win! Thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh... Yankees... win! Good night, all. Go Yanks and Go Barack.
10:32 PM: Melky Cabrera was obviously safe on that double, but he got called out. This prompted Tracy to ask me "Do you think refs watch tape of the plays they call and see something like that and say 'Oh, I screwed that up.'?" And I said "...No. No I don't. I think that the physicists are wrong. There are not four basic forces in the universe; there are five. From weakest to strongest, they are: 1.) Gravity, 2.) Electromagnetism, 3.) The weak nuclear force, 4.) The strong nuclear force, and 5.) The force that prevents human beings from ever recognizing -- to say nothing of admitting -- that they are wrong."
10:21 PM: I loves me some #22 LaTroy Hawkins. Two innings of one-hit ball sporting the new digits? Gimme gimme some of that fat pitching...
10:08 PM: Revisiting my 9:10 comment about the rise in capital gains tax revenues despite the lowering of capital gains tax rates having to do with the skyrocketing 90's stock market: You're telling me I could think of this inside of thirty seconds despite 1.) a bottle of wine in me, 2.) a baseball game in the monitor on my right, and 3.) trying to process two different comment threads, but Obama didn't have that rebuttal easy to hand? That gets the Bird Eye...
10:05 PM: Revisiting my 8:38 comment about the flag lapel woman: I feel like she kinda proved Obama's "clinging" point. Seriously, pundits aside, everyday people who give a fuck about flag lapel pins, you're telling me they're not avoiding more substantive and immediate issues in their lives?
9:57 PM: As for the debate... Well, I was initially tempted to contrast it with the high-scoring Yanks vs. Sox matchup and say no one really scored much. Then I remembered this is baseball, and I didn't want to give you the impression it was a pitchers' duel either. No, it was more like one of those sloppy, poorly-officiated games that results in a low score because no one can get anything done and the offense is lifeless. I didn't get a lot of energy from either of them and, frankly, I got the sense neither of them really wanted to be up there seeing each other again. I don't blame them. As long seasons go, this Democratic primary race is putting baseball's marathon season to shame.
9:54 PM: Back to the game. Up two runs with no out and one on in the sixth, Girardi goes to the recently re-numbered LaTroy Hawkins. Yeah, poor LaTroy couldn't take all the booing at the Stadium for wearing Paul O'Neill's #21, so he relented and switched to #22. I'm with Abraham; the fans' behavior here was stupid and destructive. But hey, if the lack of booing lets our only high-priced off-season pickup settle down and pitch, I'll be happy.
9:45 PM: I really should have watched Yanks vs. Sox. Crazy fucking game. Yanks lead 11 to 9 after five innings. Oh, wait, at this rate I'll actually be able to see quite a bit of it.
9:41 PM: Obama: "I think there are a lot of thoughtful Republicans out there." So, if Obama loses the nomination or the election, here's what I think he should do: Start up a website that allows liberals and Democrats to meet "thoughtful Republicans". 'Cause I gotta tell you, I've been coming up empty on my own.
9:33 PM: Hillary: "When you get to $4/gallon gas, people are not going to be able to afford to drive to work." Unless you drive a Prius and live 7 miles from your office. Gas prices are not the problem, or at least they're not a problem that's going away soon. The organization of our infrastructure and the lifestyle choices we've made as a culture - those things are the problem.
9:33 PM: Hillary: "Vice President Cheney - who is, apparently, a special fourth branch of government unto himself..." Verrruh niiiice.
9:31 PM: Gibson to Obama: "Do you still favor the registration of guns; do you still favor the licensing of guns?" My answer would be "Wait, we require people to register cars but not guns?!"
9:26 PM: Charlie Gibson thinks it's fair to say that every American took a moment to say a prayer on this, the first anniversary of the Virginia Tech shootings. I think it's fair to say that Charlie Gibson thinks 1.) Every American prays, and 2.) Every American is still obsessing over a year-old tragedy. For the record, Charlie Gibson is wrong.
9:18 PM: Wow. Charlie Gibson is a motherfucking tool. Listening to his line of questioning about taxes, I expect him to reach back and pull off a rubber Charlie Gibson mask revealing Grover Norquist underneath.
9:10 PM: Charlie Gibson is now singling out capital gains tax rates to try to prove that supply-side economics is true. In other news, the Sox just chased Wang from the game with three runs in the top of the fifth. Hmmmm. (Oh, and note to the idiot Gibson: You might want to take the singular Wall Street boom of the 90's into account when you throw those figures out there.)
8:45 PM: Un. Fucking. Believable. Now we're tackling the all-important General Weatherman Dude "controversy". Oh SHIT! Obama just pointed out that Bill Clinton fucking pardoned two members of the Weather Underground! Oh, lordy lordy. HUGE kudos to Obama's oppo team. I think that's the end of that discussion. And in other news, the Yankees score three runs (and counting) in the bottom of the fourth inning. Things are looking up!
8:38 PM: And now we've got Citizen Dumbshit with a taped question about why Obama doesn't wear a flag lapel pin. I think it's time to switch from wine to whiskey...
8:37 PM: I should note that we're one third of the way through this debate and everything so far has been about campaign tactics. Not a single question on policy. That's our discourse, people. Hope you're as proud as I am.
8:34 PM: Hillary, on Bosnia: "I just said some things that weren't in keeping with what I knew to be the case." Shorter Hillary: "I fabricated." Damn. Well, at least she admitted it.
8:32 PM: You know what? Hillary could earn a million metric tons of goodwill if she would suggest that we drop the goddamned Reverend Wright thing. I bet she'd get a 2 or 3-point bump in the polls. But she can't do it. She's incapable of making the big gesture. Incapable of taking the high road.
8:24 PM: Boston ties it up at 3-3 and Charlie Gibson goes back to the whole Reverend Wright thing. Come on, night, don't go South on me...
8:21 PM: Brilliant job by Obama (and his Oppo staff) digging up Hillary's "baking cookies" quote from 1992 as a perfect corrolary to Obama's remarks from last week. If she doesn't drop this subject, he's got to hammer that. It could net him Pennsylvania's Betty Crocker vote.
8:15 PM: On Bittergate. Obama: Times are hard, and people turn to religion and guns and whatnot when they've got nothing else. Clinton: I don't believe people "cling" to these things just because they're stuck in hard times. Toast: I think Hillary's underestimating the tendency to seek refuge in things that may very well already be important in our lives. She doesn't understand (or won't admit) that there's a positive way to be religious or be a gun nut, and then there's what Obama's talking about: fleeing to these things and fetishizing them out of frustration and desperation.
8:11 PM: Excellent. Right out of the gate Obama's hitting on the "McCain equals four more years of Bush" theme. Keep it up. And let's hear it from you too, Hillary. Try to remember who the real enemy is tonight.
8:10 PM: Really? This is the best we can do for an opening question? That stupid "dream ticket" nonsense? My kingdom for one debate moderator who doesn't have his or her head lodged firmly up their ass.
8:02 PM: George Stephanopoulous is one of the moderators? One way or the other, there's got to be some bias there. He spent too much time working for the Clintons for there to not be.
8:00 PM: OK, got the Yankees home jersey on and the Barack Obama rally sign perched over the fireplace. Let's go.
7:47 PM: Gets out of it only giving up one run. Nicely done. Let's hope Obama is as adept at getting out of the countless traps Hillary and the moderators will set for him tonight about "Bittergate".
7:42 PM: Meanwhile, Chien-Ming Wang has walked two consecutive batters to load the bases with no outs. Yikes.
7:27 PM: WOO HOO!!! Home run number 522 for Alex Rodriguez! Clay Buchholz is getting shelled here in the bottom of the first. Welcome to the Bronx, Sparky.
7:25 PM: WOO HOO!!! Two-run homer by that fucking coward Bobby Abreu. Yanks lead 2-1.
7:15 PM: Baseball factoid: Manny Ramirez is the only player in baseball history to notch over 800 RBI's each with two different clubs. In related news, I probably should have kept him in my head-to-head fantasy league.
7:05 PM: Tonight, two bitter rivals whose animosity towards each other is matched only by that of their respective partisans take to the field of battle once again in the latest of a series of contests that seem to stretch back to the dawn of time.
Oh, and over on ESPN2 the Yankees are taking on the Red Sox.
Yes, the stars are aligned for something new, and so tonight I'll be doing a little live debatesball blogging. Join me in the comments if you've got nothing more entertaining on deck for the evening.
Tags: Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Red Sox, Yankees
From the "Holy Shit, We're Fucking Debating This?" files, the Supreme Court today took on the case of a Louisiana man who is on death row for the rape of a child:
The Supreme Court focused Wednesday on whether "evolving standards of decency" in the United States forbid a resumption of capital punishment for any felony but murder. But the justices offered no clear indication of how they will rule in the case of a man who is on Louisiana death row for raping a child.
"The trend since 1995 has been more and more states are passing statutes imposing the death penalty in situations that do not result in death" to the victims, said Chief Justice John Roberts, who appeared to support the state's position.
Whoa, OK, let's see now: Unsatisfied with our position among the world's executing elite, the nation's finest legal minds are ready to kick things up a notch, signing off on the "trend" (all the cool states are doing it) towards laws that expand capital punishment to crimes that do not involve the taking of a human life but are merely deemed "heinous".
Got it.
No, wait, I don't. Are you fucking kidding me?!?! Listen, I get it: Child rape is about the worst thing you can do short of murder. Contrary to what some would have you believe, however, it is not "worse than" - or even equivalent to - murder. For a country that constantly runs its mouth about the goddamned sanctity of human life, you would think we'd grasp that. You would think we could at least honor that clear, bright line that separates murder from all other crimes. Instead, the highest court in the land looks ready to cheapen it by expanding the circumstances under which the government can take life away.
The mind reels.
Tags: death penalty, things I cannot believe we're debating in a "civilized" society
It's almost 11 AM and, despite having been awake for an hour and a half, I've just barely gotten through the sports section of my Google Reader feeds. I am zonie this morning. Was up kinda late last night after Fridge took off -- he came up to join us for the World's Lamest Pub Crawl -- and two days worth of beverage indulgence have put me in a fog. And yet I suspect there will be blogging today. So I invite you to occasionally refresh your browsers this afternoon as I burp up some Slices of Toast.
The current round of Petraeus hearings? No one covers 'em quite like the Rude Pundit:
[N]o one can suck Dutch cock like Joe Lieberman. Man, to him, it's like kebabs from paradise. You can bet that even the General himself will be surprised at the enthusiasm Lieberman displays when voraciously devouring that military wood, almost choking himself from trying to suck every last drop of semen out of it. And when Lieberman begs to lick Petraeus's balls clean, up at the Republican table, Jeff Sessions and Libby Dole and James Inhofe will be rubbing themselves raw, trying to come at the same time as the good General.
Some enterprising porn producer needs to film that scene pronto. Although I'm not sure where they'll find an actor who looks sufficiently like the Chinless Wonder...
This is too damned funny. There have been days when I've been browsing my usual stops along the blogospheric highway and I've thought, damn, that Steve Benen is everywhere.
Wow. If this turns out to be a legitimate cure for Alzheimer's, how amazing would that be?
An injection that dramatically relieved the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease within minutes would qualify as the discovery of the decade. That is exactly what was claimed yesterday for an experimental treatment being tested in America.
Scientists at the Institute for Neurological Research at the University of California have treated around 50 patients at a private clinic by injecting an anti-arthritic drug, etanercept, into the spinal column in the neck and then tilting the patients to encourage the drug to flow to the brain.
They claim 90 per cent respond to the treatment, usually within minutes, and have released videos of patients to prove it.
In one, a nurse sits down with an 82-year-old patient, Marvin Millar, who frowns and mumbles incoherently as she asks him identify everyday objects such as a bracelet and a pencil, which he is unable to do.
But five minutes after being in